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Open Poetry #29
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n2dmystic
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 253
beyond the doors of perception

0 posted 2003-10-02 03:29 AM




Revised 10-01-2003

Lost in fractal images of my life
Coupling abstract phrases
eluding the mind
Abuse of space
  with wasted words
Time spent on mind candy
  which rot the souls teeth
I sip the wine of discontent
and sop the soup of delusion
  with the bread of mindlessness
  and the dread of timelessness
Contemplating intropsection
  remembering forgotten thoughts
As I peer around the edge of the sky
  Into the eternity of now

© Copyright 2003 Joseph D. Carreno II



Peace, Joe
in the big MT
seeking the serendipitous magical mysteries of life's ubiquitous twisteries

[This message has been edited by n2dmystic (10-03-2003 09:47 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Joseph D. Carreno II - All Rights Reserved
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
1 posted 2003-10-02 04:39 AM



I enjoyed this, Joe...especially these lines...

"I sip the wine of discontent
and sop the soup of delusion
  with the bread of mindlessness
  and the dread of timelessness"

I like the changes you made in the revision as well.
In my opinion, it is the better or the two.

Nicely done, my friend.
Hugs,
~Vicky

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
2 posted 2003-10-02 06:15 AM


Great stuff here....mind candy- rotting souls........
I like Misuse of space with it's three "s" sounds, but
what do I know....other than THIS IS GOOD STUFF!    Larry

[This message has been edited by dingusjr (10-02-2003 06:16 AM).]

n2dmystic
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 253
beyond the doors of perception
3 posted 2003-10-03 09:48 AM


edited thanks to vl.  i appreciate your
input

Peace, Joe
in the big MT
seeking the serendipitous magical mysteries of life's ubiquitous twisteries

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2003-10-03 01:19 PM


Enjoyed.
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

5 posted 2003-10-03 02:03 PM


yes, you deploy well the weapons used in the battle for the mind...nice work
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