Concrete Garden - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

0 posted 2003-10-01 07:45 PM

Concrete Garden

This used to be a garden view
With sun in shine on blossoms fair
A daisy to adorn the hair
And tulips kissed with morning dew

This used to be a vibrant scene
With palette splash of Artist's hand
A rainbow's spectrum, painted grand
On backdrop of the lushest green

There once was fragrance of romance
In tempt of those within it's path
The fresh of rain in flower's bath
Enough to make the senses dance

Now weeds infect this hardened ground
Where scarcely does a blossom show
And even where the roses grow
The thorns outweigh the beauty found

Where concrete towers, scraping blue
There used to be a garden view

~Vicky L. Raynes

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix
[This message has been edited by vlraynes (10-02-2003 01:50 AM).]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2003-10-01 07:53 PM

Vicky...I know this place and it hurts my heart. Wonderful poem, thoughtfilled. Thank you for it.

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

2 posted 2003-10-01 08:00 PM

enjoyed,,,,

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

3 posted 2003-10-01 08:42 PM

Vicky~
What a wonderful poetic paint of portrayal~
I love it !
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

4 posted 2003-10-01 08:44 PM

Vicky...Touching words. The concrete is so gray and lifeless looking, how beautiful it could be with a beautiful garden for all to share. Enjoyed even thou I felt the saddness of your words...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

5 posted 2003-10-01 10:20 PM

excellent choice of pictures, matches the poem perfectly... enjoyed reading this..
--ice--

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

6 posted 2003-10-01 10:22 PM

You show this perception well and it saddens me to see nature being treated this way.

Crystal

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2003-10-01 10:39 PM

How very sad Vicky...
It could easily be made so beautiful.
Very well written and much enjoyed.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me ~

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

8 posted 2003-10-01 11:40 PM

(big hugggsssssssss) Oh Vicky, this is so very heartaching, sweet friend, I believe art is someone's voice and for someone's abode to degrade like that breaks my heart ever so much! (sad sigh) This is written ever so well, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Vicky, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

9 posted 2003-10-02 12:40 PM

Sadder words than "might have been"...

..."should be but never will"...

And you capture it so well in this.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

10 posted 2003-10-02 12:51 PM

excellent write vicky

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

11 posted 2003-10-02 01:02 AM

This one hurts big time. Fantastic Vicky.

HopeS
Member Elite

since 2000-12-22

Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia

12 posted 2003-10-02 01:06 AM

scars on the landscape such as this , yes the flowers and greenery that most of us miss

Hope

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

13 posted 2003-10-02 08:17 AM

and here you birth a beauty
(still working on mine)

There once was fragrance of romance
In tempt of those within it's path
The fresh of rain in flower's bath
Enough to make the senses dance

Beautiful stanza Vicky
Your words are pure silk
and I do know this view
quite well
*smile*
this is amazing, truly
I am in awe, how you write like this
(gimme a cheat sheet)
Your sis
xxoo

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

14 posted 2003-10-02 09:12 AM

Just a lil bit of Vicky power me thinks.

Beautifully penned m'dear.

Maree.

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

15 posted 2003-10-02 09:13 AM

So beautifully expressed! Brings images to mind of luscious green that is no more in my own endeavours.
Love, Margherita

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

16 posted 2003-10-02 03:07 PM

And people wonder why I dislike the city so much... This is great Mum, it's really great

Life isn't really all that bad... just don't take it too seriously
"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. "
--G. K.Chesterto

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

17 posted 2003-10-03 10:22 PM

This could pertain to so many things,
and interpreted so many ways.

Lovely poem Vicky~ and the view, well yes, that too! Reality is often harsh, but you wrote it beautifully.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

18 posted 2003-10-04 01:18 AM

There once was fragrance of romance
In tempt of those within it's path
The fresh of rain in flower's bath
Enough to make the senses dance

Now weeds infect this hardened ground
Where scarcely does a blossom show
And even where the roses grow
The thorns outweigh the beauty found

Vicky, this is so sad, but also
so very beautiful. Perfect writing
you've done......as always, my friend.

Hugs to you, sweet lady

Ethel;

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

19 posted 2003-10-13 08:57 PM

heart-shaking..

hugs, g

"Now would you mind if I bared my soul / If I came right out and said you're beautiful..." B. Adams

[This message has been edited by dgvarner (10-13-2003 08:58 PM).]

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

20 posted 2003-10-13 09:01 PM

Now I totally understand why we still go
to the woods from time to time....getting
away, so to speak...sheesh, not even the
flowers get the luxury....

Excellent rhyme and flow Vic. Ya done
very nicely with this one...

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

21 posted 2003-10-13 09:19 PM

This is why I'm a country girl... Yep - Well said, Vicky...

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

22 posted 2003-10-13 10:03 PM

its still there if you dont look for it

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.