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Open Poetry #29
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Days Of Thunder Days Of Pain In The Service Of The Muse
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Days Of Thunder Days Of Pain In The Service Of The Muse |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows 
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Poetry used to embarrass me; I grew up with those who knew, beyond a shadow of their doubt, that poetry was not a manly thing to do, was not anything a man should think about. I lived in a world where such mental games were not allowed, I was cowed into hiding, simply accepting I was strange; I never shirked my duty, did the job that I'd chosen, I just kept the surface and the walls around my heart frozen. Yet I wrote, how could I stop? I would arrange to hide my lines as each of us lives, the way our world defines. I'd keep them in my head sometimes for days, but then I realized the muse found ways to get them out, especially when I was drunk, just one of the boys, celebrating our survival, our most recent post-apocalyptic joys of anesthetized denial; so, I'd speak them to two-dollar whores, who only knew enough English to set a price and later scream out, memorized, their theatrical appreciation. I wrote existential rhymes on burning walls and crapper stalls, and on the sides of tanks, and sometimes even got the thanks of the young and terrified for giving them a laugh, before they went out and died, but that was not enough for her. No, she wouldn't let me be; so I wrote other bits in places where I thought no one would see; I wrote small blessings sometimes in blood, once with my own, on the bodies of the dead so they took poetry with them to the grave; incantations and ritual lines for safe journey, I knew it wouldn't save them, it was me who had the need. I lived on speed and jotted verse on anything I thought we would destroy; I found that to be a useful ploy, poetry in script on bombs before we blew some world apart, sardonic Latin ironies, obscene Celtic limericks, always good ways to start. One night I calmly sat, meditative with dental picks, and scratched haiku on Ma Deuce heads and then re-linked them all, it was less frightening to stay up than try to sleep; at dawn I buried each in anything or anyone I hit and felt nothing when I watched them fall; lines of rhyme in miniature where none would guess I wasn't pure as a male animal and instrument of death; none would know I had this weakness, this addiction, to feeling any clear emotion in a world where no one lived who thought don't ask don't tell. I was stranger, less acceptable than that, privately in my own private hell. It wasn't out of vanity, no need to spread my mental seed; and I don't apologize, these were acts of desperation, clinging to the last threads of my sanity. ©2003 by icebox |
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| © Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
icebox....I'm glad your muse led you here!  [This message has been edited by Martie (09-27-2003 04:06 PM).] |
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LiquidMidnight Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 50 |
I really LOVE the title. I come from a very rural and close minded area where the men are men and the women are women, so I can sympathize with the ideas of this poem. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I guess.. having started into poetry relatively late in life.... that I was fortunate (or was I)... to not have the need to hide my poetry....cause some days it screams from me....and it is hard for them not to hear my words... I very much enjoyed this poem from one who obviously is a vet. Great write....even if your muse is a she....those are the worst kind....sometimes so demanding.... (easy now girls)..... |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, I'm so happy you found your way here, I am only 19 and started writing poetry in February 2000. I felt just the same way you did when starting to write out, but then as time went on, I believe one should ignore the critics and questioners and go with what you know and live with youth! Forget what is stereotyped about men and women, it is OK to be a man and write poetry, it is OK to like playing with dolls growing up, it is OK to like Kenny G or Hootie & The Blowfish when everyone says they're uncool! (big hugggsssssss) I am proud of who I am and I am proud of you for standing up for what your heart feels, as a true man I feel has the heart to cry and share his emotions! God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, thank you for sharing!  May love and light alwyas shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
this is simply stunning work icebox..in awe |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
and I don't apologize, these were acts of desperation, clinging to the last threads of my sanity well writte sir..and understood.. |
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
damn. just damn. you are amoung brothers... |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
icey? it was less frightening to stay up than try to sleep; yes indeed ya know, this entire write led me through many lives . . . some I know of, some I don't, but strangely it reminded me of when my Father (step) passed and I left with him beknownst only to me . . . a spoon ring from a girl of 15 in his suit pocket at the last sight . . . Thank you for that memory and thankful that you are a sweet man and a beautiful writer, at that *smile* love the picture . . . xxoo [This message has been edited by littlewing (09-29-2003 08:50 AM).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
icebox I didn't know there were two of us.  |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Icebox, thank you for sharing this touching, very touching story! You are loved by the muse, no doubt. You are made of steel, with an incredibly beautiful core, a soft Poet's heart. Enjoyed this very much. Love, Margherita  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent ...I love it!! The title grabbed me and pulled me in... but then again..seeing your name always does. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
And thank you, ice, for sharing your words here. You continue to delight, intrigue, and confound my mind with your ability. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Even women go through some of this, Sir... and I'm starting a whole new wing in my library... just for you. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Icy~ Love the new pic!!!  This piece is nothing short of masterful... Susan |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
Wow great poem that many people can relate to. Thanks for your words Rileigh |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
I understand only because I have heard remarks about men who write poetry. How foolish those people are. So many "manly" men write poetry. How about the men like you in the service who wrote poems while there and published them later? How about all the really manly guys here at Pip who write terrific poetry, how about all those men of history who wrote so many good poems and the musicians who also write the songs, Not all were "unmanly" and really who cares what they think? Best to you Charlie, I have shared some of your poetry with my sons. They never said a word about being manly or not. They always enjoyed reading them. Best to you and I thank you for all the great poetry you have shared with us. jo |
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