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Passions in Poetry

Days Of Thunder Days Of Pain In The Service Of The Muse

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icebox
Member Elite
since 05-03-2003
Posts 4246
in the shadows


0 posted 09-27-2003 02:34 PM       View Profile for icebox   Email icebox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for icebox


Poetry used to embarrass me;
I grew up with those who knew,
beyond a shadow of their doubt,
that poetry
was not a manly thing to do,
was not anything a man should think about.
I lived in a world
where such mental games were not allowed,
I was cowed into hiding,
simply accepting
I was strange;
I never shirked my duty,
did the job that I'd chosen,
I just kept the surface
and the walls around my heart frozen.
Yet I wrote,
how could I stop?
I would arrange to hide my lines
as each of us lives,
the way our world defines.
I'd keep them
in my head sometimes for days,
but then I realized
the muse found ways to get them out,
especially when I was drunk,
just one of the boys,
celebrating our survival,
our most recent post-apocalyptic joys
of anesthetized denial;
so,
I'd speak them
to two-dollar whores,
who only knew enough English
to set a price
and later scream out,
memorized,
their theatrical appreciation.
I wrote existential rhymes
on burning walls
and crapper stalls,
and on the sides of tanks,
and sometimes
even got the thanks of the young and terrified
for giving them a laugh,
before they went out and died,
but that was not enough for her.
No,
she wouldn't let me be;
so I wrote other bits in places
where I thought no one would see;
I wrote small blessings
sometimes in blood,
once with my own,
on the bodies of the dead
so they took poetry with them to the grave;
incantations
and ritual lines for safe journey,
I knew it wouldn't save them,
it was me who had the need.
I lived on speed and jotted verse
on anything I thought we would destroy;
I found that to be a useful ploy,
poetry in script on bombs
before we blew some world apart,
sardonic Latin ironies,
obscene Celtic limericks,
always good ways to start.
One night I calmly sat,
meditative with dental picks,
and scratched haiku on Ma Deuce heads
and then re-linked them all,
it was less frightening to stay up
than try to sleep;
at dawn I buried each
in anything or anyone I hit
and felt nothing
when I watched them fall;
lines of rhyme in miniature
where none would guess
I wasn't pure as a male
animal and instrument of death;
none would know I had this weakness,
this addiction,
to feeling any clear emotion
in a world where no one lived
who thought don't ask don't tell.
I was stranger,
less acceptable than that,
privately in my own private hell.
It wasn't out of vanity,
no need to spread my mental seed;
and I don't apologize,
these were acts of desperation,
clinging
to the last threads of my sanity.


2003 by icebox
© Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


1 posted 09-27-2003 02:40 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

icebox....I'm glad your muse led you here!  

[This message has been edited by Martie (09-27-2003 04:06 PM).]

LiquidMidnight
Member
since 09-24-2003
Posts 50


2 posted 09-27-2003 03:48 PM       View Profile for LiquidMidnight   Email LiquidMidnight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LiquidMidnight

I really LOVE the title.

I come from a very rural and close minded area where the men are men and the women are women, so I can sympathize with the ideas of this poem.
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 10-10-2001
Posts 14644
South Carolina, USA


3 posted 09-27-2003 04:04 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

I guess..  having started into poetry
relatively late in life....  that I was
fortunate (or was I)... to not have the
need to hide my poetry....cause some days
it screams from me....and it is hard for
them not to hear my words...

I very much enjoyed this poem from one who
obviously is a vet.  Great write....even if
your muse is a she....those are the worst
kind....sometimes so demanding.... (easy
now girls).....
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 12-17-2000
Posts 34089
City of Roses


4 posted 09-27-2003 04:14 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(big hugggssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, I'm so happy you found your way here, I am only 19 and started writing poetry in February 2000. I felt just the same way you did when starting to write out, but then as time went on, I believe one should ignore the critics and questioners and go with what you know and live with youth! Forget what is stereotyped about men and women, it is OK to be a man and write poetry, it is OK to like playing with dolls growing up, it is OK to like Kenny G or Hootie & The Blowfish when everyone says they're uncool! (big hugggsssssss) I am proud of who I am and I am proud of you for standing up for what your heart feels, as a true man I feel has the heart to cry and share his emotions! God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, thank you for sharing!



May love and light alwyas shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


5 posted 09-27-2003 04:39 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

this is simply stunning work icebox..in awe
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


6 posted 09-29-2003 07:53 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

and I don't apologize,
these were acts of desperation,
clinging
to the last threads of my sanity
well writte sir..and understood..

Edder
Senior Member
since 04-02-2003
Posts 676


7 posted 09-29-2003 08:47 AM       View Profile for Edder   Email Edder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Edder

damn. just damn. you are amoung brothers...
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


8 posted 09-29-2003 08:48 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

icey?

it was less frightening to stay up
than try to sleep;

yes indeed
ya know, this entire write led me through many lives . . .
some I know of,
some I don't, but strangely it
reminded me of when my
Father (step) passed and I left with him
beknownst only to me . . . a spoon ring
from a girl of 15 in his suit pocket at the
last sight . . .

Thank you for that memory
and thankful that you are a sweet man
and a beautiful writer, at that
*smile*
love the picture . . .
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (09-29-2003 08:50 AM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


9 posted 09-29-2003 09:00 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

icebox
I didn't know there were two of us.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 02-08-2003
Posts 21103
Eternity


10 posted 09-29-2003 09:05 AM       View Profile for Margherita   Email Margherita   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Margherita

Icebox, thank you for sharing this touching, very touching story!
You are loved by the muse, no doubt.
You are made of steel, with an incredibly beautiful core, a soft Poet's heart.
Enjoyed this very much.
Love, Margherita
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


11 posted 09-29-2003 09:18 AM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Excellent ...I love it!!
The title grabbed me and pulled me in...
but then again..seeing your name always does.

~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~


~ I love your glances meeting mine
     across forever or the room ~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


12 posted 09-29-2003 09:20 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

And thank you, ice, for sharing your words here.

You continue to delight, intrigue, and confound my mind with your ability.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


13 posted 09-29-2003 09:49 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Even women
go through some
of this, Sir...

and I'm starting a whole new wing
in my library...

just for you.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


14 posted 09-29-2003 09:59 AM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

Icy~

Love the new pic!!!



This piece is nothing short of masterful...

Susan
crosscountry83
Member
since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


15 posted 08-08-2009 11:16 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

Wow great poem that many people can relate to. Thanks for your words

Rileigh
latearrival
Member Elite
since 03-21-2003
Posts 4407
Florida


16 posted 08-26-2009 06:59 PM       View Profile for latearrival   Email latearrival   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for latearrival

I understand only because I have heard remarks about men who write poetry. How foolish those people are. So many "manly" men write poetry. How about the men like you in the service who wrote poems while there and published them later? How about all the really manly guys here at Pip who write terrific poetry, how about all those men of history who wrote so many good poems and  the musicians who also write the songs, Not all were "unmanly" and really who cares what they think?
Best to you Charlie, I have shared some of your poetry with my sons. They never said a word about being manly or not. They always enjoyed reading them. Best to you and I thank you for all the great poetry you have shared with us.  jo
 
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