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Open Poetry #29
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It Could Have Been...
| Open Poetry #29 |
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It Could Have Been... |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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It would have been different if the moon had not caught me in its web of glamour, and blinded my eyes to reality that was your lie and if you had not called the moon to be my guide and lead me along forbidden paths where together we were more than the sum of our parts and we were as mist in time. It would have been different if my heart had not taken the journey looking for new endings among the old paths and seeking stolen kisses to light my darkness, never expecting more than the moment If would have been different if you had given me all I desired and claimed me as your prize instead of taking by stealth what was not yours to have; and I would have risen up on feathered wings shedding the darkness of the night and claiming victory in the crow of the morning It would have been different if I were not me and you were a stranger, not the holder of my heart and destroyer of my dreams. You, who blotted out the morning so that our dreams might bask in the pale glow of the moon forever caught in romance of the moment… but never in love. Yes it could have been different but the tracks of the record turn again and I find myself stuck in the worn groove, made by the needle that turns too many times in the same place and digs ever deeper in this rut to become a grave. It would have been different if the moon had not blinded me in its web of glory and glamour and I would have been changed. Ah! How I would have been changed so that the dust of my past would be shaken off and the moon would no longer ensnare me It could have been so different! Still, the ash of regret fills my stomach with something akin to emotion, as I exhale the moon and you Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This is right up there with your best. It's full of phantom would-have-beens in the pale of the moon. I love it. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
wow, I feel the same way, once I'm done I'm done, and there is nothing more deceiptful then someone who takes advantage of your feelings, lies to you to get what they want, then, they're gone, and you find out they were all that time with someone else....I don't want someone that weak? Do you? Your much better off, to find someone who deserves you. god bless and feel better soon....keep writing Keithy, excellent emotions here. In time you simply won't care anymore, and you'll start self examining wondering why you accepted so little from someone. You deserve more, and you'll believe it! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
HeyGirlFriend~ I am sooooo *smiling* at the inspire of this piece~  You pen the dark so very well, my talented friend~ You get an extra *huglet* for this one~  *Huglets* THIS IS WONDERFUL !!! ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Kethry, this is absolutely beautiful. Even though it's sad, it has such tenderness in it. I love it, Kethry, and am keeping it. I hope you don't mind. This part right here is why so many relationships don't last..... forever caught in romance of the moment… but never in love. When a couple is really in love, they will try harder to work things out. But, if all they had was "the romance of the moment", they don't think it's worth the effort. I know from past experiences. Very good writing, my friend.  Hugs Ethel |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Beloved one, if I didn’t adore you quite so much I might be tempted to tell you that this is simply far too, too good. Why oh why, have I not got a thimbleful of your talent. I love it utterly, utterly, utterly. That smoky moonlight sonata feel of this is so atmospheric, I truly applaud you on this one beloved heart, it really is one of your superior pieces. I forgive you only because you don’t know that you are such a brilliant writer, and why else? Remind me beloved one, why else? Ahhhhh well, I suppose simply because I love you muchly, and also because you are so very good. and forever Mushy    Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Yes it could have been different but the tracks of the record turn again and I find myself stuck in the worn groove, made by the needle that turns too many times in the same place and digs ever deeper in this rut to become a grave. Oh, lady... this is superb!!! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
well done.... It seems I have more to say about this than I have words to say it.. so I will only say, one of your best.. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Kethry, this is so very heartfelt, dearest friend, I'm sorry you've had to endure this woe but know deep down it is not about the "moment" but about the "moments" and so this is all for the better when you find something even more precious! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This has to be your best Kethry! So very much enjoyed the read. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
If this came from your pain, then your pain was not in vain... A beautifully written piece of poetry, Healing hugs, Linda |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
well expressed,,, |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kethry  Now this is what I call writing. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
This was such excellent writing! Your work is always exceptional, but this is even over the top! take care amy  "love is like a butterfly-- |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
I even hold my breath while reading. You're sure you're using the same letters in the Alphabet as I do  My God, you definitely know how to put them together girl.:hatsof:Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Keth... in your coulds you did... and do. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Wow, Keth! This style favors you greatly. This is a brilliant piece of writing, filled with just the right touch of emotion and excellent wording. Big applause here...  |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
This is amazing. Crystal |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
See? Everyone agrees with me. This one is fantastic. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
too many awesome lines to pick out a few...loved this! |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
back to the top!!!!!! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
NIce writing...James |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Kethry - this is so giving of you to write like this. It's just beautiful, but sad of thoughts of happenings... BC |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Excellent. I think this may be the best I've read, of your poetry. A long poem that left me wanting more. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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