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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-09-24 04:08 PM

on the battlefield thought
death halts amidst the fallen
driving a standard of
ibis and crescent into
crimson'd earth he whispers
keep a mutable mind,
ideals are leaden bindings

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-09-24 04:21 PM

keep a mutable mind,
ideals are leaden bindings

an ending that brings power to the whole...

well done sir...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

2 posted 2003-09-24 04:47 PM

Oh magnificent Sir Raph!

I agree with the Captain.. a very powerful ending indeedy.

Excellent handsome

M

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2003-09-24 04:49 PM

Ideals do make for stiff spines
don't they...

probably why my middle name
is Gumby...

Very good, Raph...very good.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

4 posted 2003-09-24 05:19 PM

you have never written a bad poem. every one is really great.

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

5 posted 2003-09-24 05:22 PM

Mann Raph,
this is truly amazing
reminded me LOTR
but more medieval
and I SAW that occurring

plunging and muttering . . .
nice metaphors
and message well sent
xxoo

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

6 posted 2003-09-24 10:09 PM

Thank you kindly Ron

Thanks beautiful

Thanks Gumby..er Karilea grins

Liz thanks but check the archives..some real stinkers..

Thanks Sue, just me being microcosmic

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

7 posted 2003-10-04 04:57 PM

Oh...very well done, Raph.
I love this.

Hugs to you, friend...
When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

Miah
Senior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 1062
Pennsylvania

8 posted 2003-10-04 04:59 PM

very good.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

9 posted 2003-10-04 05:17 PM

Thanks for the bump vicky and miah .. i kinda liked this one but it faded quickly

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