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Open Poetry #29
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Wind
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since 2002-10-12
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0 posted 2003-09-22 08:58 PM



Fire rising from the ashes
flesh as pale as
October snow,
it comes when you least expect it,
melting every fiber in me,
shaking me to the core

just a memory
pressing face
against the window-
beckon forth
siren of the sea,
dead eyes calling.

take me underwater,
listless gaze
and limbs inert

raise you from the dead-
it is not hard to fall
for loss of pride

I will melt the ice from your eyes,
I will breathe the frost from your cheeks,
I will lift you to your feet,
I will draw you a circle-
erase the lines of the square,
and bring the center
back to you

I will wash the dust away,
I will wipe the filth from your face
remold you
and unfold you-
let the earth mourn
loss of blood,
let you mourn
loss of mind


field of dreams,
and poppy blooms
give me sleep,
to dream of you:
the you that is
still alive,
the you that breathed
before you vanished
and a stranger stole your face.

when the city lights shine
bright again,
I will
return you to existence

(ugh...I had to tweak it one more time. I am never satisfied...I suppose because i am human )


And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

[This message has been edited by Wind (09-23-2003 04:23 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved
mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox
1 posted 2003-09-22 09:04 PM


damn, no one does imagery quite like you do. i can see and feel every word. you're a wonderful poet. cant wait to read more.

and even when everything was wrong, and we were mad at the world, it was still beautiful.

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
2 posted 2003-09-22 09:05 PM


amazing liz.

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.--"Romeo and Juliet"

Wind
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Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-09-22 09:20 PM


thanks very much guys. i had to write something or gem would kill me by friday

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
4 posted 2003-09-22 09:22 PM


My, my Wind, seems you have grown up overnight! Very wonderful write. Chris

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. -Tagore



    

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2003-09-22 09:30 PM


Still your writing is so amazing for your years Liz!!
You  must be an old soul.
Wonderful write...much enjoyed.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~


~ I love your glances meeting mine
     across forever or the room ~

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2003-09-22 09:34 PM




(smiles) Oh Liz, this is beautiful, sweet friend, I know Gemma will find this absolutely what she ordered as your poetry continues to go leaps and bounds! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Liz, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
7 posted 2003-09-22 10:59 PM


Yet another addition to my library.
devin_lupus
New Member
since 2003-09-22
Posts 9
Ohio, USA
8 posted 2003-09-22 11:02 PM


Wow! This reminds me of Ophilia although I'm not quite sure why... Very good imagery and good impressions this one leaves. Very well done.
angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
9 posted 2003-09-23 12:41 PM


Great imagery and wonderful words.
Crystal

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2003-09-23 03:24 AM


this one brought me a drifting mood after I read it

good stuff

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
11 posted 2003-09-24 11:02 AM


Liz, good God
this spoke to me so today
that look of life
gone from face
Ohh mann . . .
this is a revival
and you . . .
the light
Beautiful
xxoo

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2003-09-24 11:18 AM


you may not sweat poetry... but you craft it well, from bits of soul and heart, that you try to hide..in off hand dry remarks, a smart mouth, and an odd sense of humor...

( chuckling) You got soul kid... lots of it, you just aren't quite sure how to deal with it inside yourself yet...


very well done Wind... well done indeed.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
13 posted 2003-09-24 03:55 PM


Liz don't insult yourself, you're not human! You're better..grins
bsquirrel
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14 posted 2003-09-24 03:56 PM


Liz,

This poem is drugged with the possibility of chance, and change.

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2003-09-24 04:00 PM


raise you from the dead-
it is not hard to fall
for loss of pride

I will melt the ice from your eyes,
I will breathe the frost from your cheeks,
I will lift you to your feet,
I will draw you a circle-
erase the lines of the square,
and bring the center
back to you

I will wash the dust away,
I will wipe the filth from your face
remold you
and unfold you-
let the earth mourn
loss of blood,
let you mourn
loss of mind



My goodness, Liz...you have outdone yourself on this one, little lady. Awesome writing, my friend. I'm keeping this one!!  
hugs  
Ethel

Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

16 posted 2003-09-24 05:06 PM


oh..wow thanks everyone
Noah- I hope she will. the girl hasn't seen it yet though.

Nancy- glad you feel that way

Meg- lol...thats what you say every time. your library must be pretty windy..and slightly bizzare

devin_lupus- I've heard it somewere...better check you on that. and welcome


Crystal- you are a very sweet person and your replys make me smile

Dixie- that was the point...glad it worked

Sue- you are wonderful and thank you. you help me lean towards grey rather than black

and actually Cpat sir, this is not what I act like or even think like, but sometimes I just sit down and these words pop out. but I am sure there is a lot of soul in there, and yes I have a strange sense humor...

Raphael...If i weren't human I wouldn't have fault, and you know that's impossible.

Mikey you should like it..you inspired it.

And Ethel Mae..you are learning about dark and I think it is important to learn about everything. I am glad someone romantic like you can enjoy this

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

bsquirrel
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17 posted 2003-09-25 01:32 PM


Wow, really? Was it Through the end of winter?
Wind
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Posts 2981

18 posted 2003-09-25 03:25 PM


Nope it was the one...
oh...give me a second

fist breath...I think it was called.

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
19 posted 2003-09-25 04:12 PM


I will draw you a circle-
erase the lines of the square,
and bring the center
back to you

Myyyyy oh my...its been a busy week. but, (when my comp finally let me come here) I have this to read. woooooo hoooooo. wayyyyy more interesting than human biology and all the rest i'm studying (yawning through) in classes

Those lines stood out to me liz, god, they could stand alone as a poem, one of them short ones. (dunno what called?) senryu?

And, of course I bloody love it! Though i am incredibly late...sorry, back at college, and its hectic.

what been up to then lizy? any more works of art/genuis i should know about?

aaargh this bit....before you vanished
and a stranger stole your face

aaaargh why isnt this my poem? i hereby steal it. not really.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

bsquirrel
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20 posted 2003-09-25 05:20 PM


I like your title for First Breath better.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
21 posted 2003-09-25 05:28 PM


Wind,
this is soul food.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Wind
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Posts 2981

22 posted 2003-09-25 05:59 PM


actualy twas also the song wisper. thats like the coolest song ever...with the people chanting and stuff. but heck..I'm a weirdo so...

was goning to call it dead or alive but my scary titles have a tendancy of scaring people away

Naw...I like your title better. I had to try so hard not to say bring you to life or something. but..my brain started talking.


And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

[This message has been edited by Wind (09-25-2003 07:45 PM).]

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