navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #29 » brother, heroes never die
Open Poetry #29
Post A Reply Post New Topic brother, heroes never die Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

0 posted 2003-09-22 08:56 PM


i miss him already, he left in the winter.
just passing through, leaves me with splinters.
he hates it here, and i've learned as such.
who knew i could miss nothing so much.
a nobody going nowhere, with nothing to lose.
i wish i was like him, a rebel, a muse.
with a crooked smile that's beautiful, he's never been perfect.
and time-bitten nails held my heart when he left.
he doesn't know how i see him. he thinks i'm uptight.
i've too many times proven his theories are right.
can't you see i'm not like you?
i cry when the wind changes!
i'm too quick to push away strangers, i'm too quick to anger.
i get depressed so easy when you're not around.
i'm drowning, ophelia, don't let me down!
so go on and live, see if i care.
i care so much it hurts, hurts right there.
these walls i put up can't be of any use.
i won't die if you stay, let that be our truce.
please say you'll stay, please say you'll stay.
please say you love me and think of me while you're away.
promise me the air's just as empty up there.
please tell me i matter, tell me you care.
let me know what you're feeling, let me know your pain.
i'll always be waiting here for you to save me again.

and even when everything was wrong, and we were mad at the world, it was still beautiful.

© Copyright 2003 Rachael - All Rights Reserved
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

1 posted 2003-09-22 09:02 PM


this poem is very beautiful and desperate. I can't help but think that this reminds me of someone I know. I am very impressd, this has a lot of good feelings in it

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-09-22 09:54 PM






(big hugggssssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, I know just how you feel as I too have an older brother who moved on and I seldom see him anymore, but know always your brother will always love you and you will always be special to him! (sigh) This is beautifully heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Rachael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

noah j
Member
since 2003-03-05
Posts 82
on the open road with the wind blowing in my hair
3 posted 2003-09-22 10:30 PM


wow.  i really liked that.  it seems to me that there were many levels to this piece.  one is the characterization of the person leaving and of the person wanting them to stay, and second is the level of intesity and of feeling that the writer has.  i love it.  

the only people for me are the mad ones-mad to live, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at once--jack kerouac

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #29 » brother, heroes never die

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary