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Open Poetry #28
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Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

0 posted 2003-09-16 07:52 PM


I called you up that fateful day
Prepared the words I would say
When you answered though, and I heard the voice same as mine
It was as though someone for a moment had stopped the hands of time

A lump formed in my throat, the tears welled up in my eyes
I felt as though my heart would burst, and I just wanted to say good-bye
Somehow I found the courage, as did you too
We talked about the past, and all we'd been through

I know it will never happen again, and I know the reasons why
Still though I couldn't help but think I'm glad I didn't let the chance pass by
You're no longer my mother, as you said you gave up that right long ago
So I suppose there's nothing left to say, and I should probably just go

But for a moment, it was though nothing bad had ever happened really to either you or me
Suppose I wanted to somehow break the chains to let my heart be free
I know it wasn't fair to put that burden on you
Just somehow for a second I was the child, and you were the "Mom" I once knew

I'll tuck your memory away, with all the other ones deep inside
Though this in a way breaks my heart, I don't think anymore tears I can cry
What is done, is just that, and we all must move on
I'm glad though that I took the moment to make a right out of a wrong

If ever you should change your mind, and want to know your daughter of 26 years
Or ever want to be free of as you say of your endless pain or fear
Just call on me, be it day or night
Maybe together we can cross through to the other side

For a moment, it was as though time had stood still
Then the next moment came too suddenly, making it all too real
Maybe this is how it was suppose to be, yes maybe afterall
If though you can't get me out of your head and for me your heart does call

You know where to look, you know I won't be very far
I'd like to somehow relieve us both of our pains, and our deep bruises and scars
I said both hello and goodbye, to my mother of birth
Never did I realise the joy I'd feel or the amount of tremendous hurt

For a moment I held fate in the palm of my very hands
It's helped me to be a better woman, and to somehow understand
I'm not angry or bitter, maybe a little sad but that was expected to be
I realise standing looking in the mirror, some of the best parts of you may in fact be in me


"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

[This message has been edited by Aimster (09-16-2003 08:00 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Amy Kennedy - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2003-09-16 08:00 PM




(big hugggssssssss) God Bless You, dearest friend, I can feel your heart aching here and I'm sorry to hear that you and your mom have had difficult times, but know deep down, she'll always love you even if she never wishes to speak with you in earnest, and you will always be her child and I hope she realizes that she matters to you! (wipes tears) I send comfort angel hugs your way, sweet friend, this is a most honest and compassionate write, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Amy, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
2 posted 2003-09-16 08:03 PM


noah,

thank you for your beautiful heartfelt
reply. this poem was to my biological
mother who gave me and my sisters up
for adoption when I was 6 years. After
lots of struggle, much debate, and 20 years
I finally contacted her about a month ago.
Our reuninion was as good as it could be
I suppose. And though she told me she loves
me and has always thought of me especially
Christmas and on my birthday continous contact would be too painful for her. So
while I feel I gained something very precious I also feel like I lost something
in the process too. Again thanks for reading.

Take care.
Amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2003-09-16 08:07 PM




(big hugggsssssss) You are very special, dearest Amy, and I am blessed that you told me this as knowing you is only loving and appreciating you as a friend even more! (wipes tears) It is indeed so hard for one to be put into adoption, I know, no one should ever have to go through this and I wish no mother had to make these sacrifices, and I am sure your sisters share the same sympathy you do as we need our mothers and fathers support! (sigh) Whatever may happen from here, know you are special and loved by all of us here, and deep in her heart, your mother will always love you even if it is hard for her to remind you that! (big angel friendship hugs)



Love,
Noah Eaton


I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***


[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (09-16-2003 08:09 PM).]

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2003-09-17 09:20 AM


Amy~
It is with great tenderness that I read this penning~
Bless you for the kindness shown to your mother-of-birth ...~
I would think that perhaps she will also be reflecting on things of the past and knowing that you are there for her should she feel the need to contact you.
I would pray that she would ... in time~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
   noles1@totcon.com   

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2003-09-17 10:18 AM


some of the best parts of you may in fact be in me

I think that says much for you and equally that your heart remembers something of your mother or you wouldn't  have wanted to see her again.

Give it time and never close that door. You probably gave her a shock and  guilt may have risen for not being able to care for you and you  sister back then. Go on from here...and maybe it will all work out.

hugs
M

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