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Open Poetry #28
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Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
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0 posted 2003-09-12 03:22 PM


Ocean

Ocean starts over there,
or seems to. It's easy
to stand lost in the waves,
miss the reality
that it only continues,
or worse, focus on the land
strung out below me
like particolor taffy.

Horizon is an idea here,
a concept I can't see at all;
there's no edge out there,
no angular declivity, and this
isn't one: land no more ends
than Ocean begins. It merely
melts to caramel sand and slowly
slips into the world's mouth.

Rivers don't exist at all,
though you can drown in them.
Any stream is an extension of
the hungry Ocean, licking in.

© Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2003-09-12 03:27 PM


Oh Ed...so many great lines in this...like:

strung out below me
like particolor taffy.

and:

melts to caramel sand and slowly
slips into the world's mouth

and then there's:

Any stream is an extension of
the hungry Ocean, licking in.

  
So original the words you paint, yet I completely understand the way you see this wonderful ocean view.  Wonderful poem!

Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
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2 posted 2003-09-12 03:39 PM


Standing on the shore at Sunset Beach the other day, and I just had a sudden reversal of the idea that the land means anything at all, compared to the ocean. Some day Asia will be a coral atoll -- for a while -- then nothing.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2003-09-12 03:54 PM


"land no more ends
than Ocean begins. It merely
melts to caramel sand and slowly
slips into the world's mouth."

~  Very creative and descriptive writing.


EA

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2003-09-12 03:58 PM


Horizon is an idea here,
a concept I can't see at all;
there's no edge out there,
no angular declivity, and this
isn't one: land no more ends
than Ocean begins. It merely
melts to caramel sand and slowly
slips into the world's mouth.

It doesn't get any better than this... your descriptive powers are without equal. *S* I don't think I'll ever look at the ocean... or shore... with the same eyes. *S* Excellent! *S*

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
5 posted 2003-09-12 04:02 PM


Always l@ve your take on things
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-09-12 04:15 PM


Ocean starts over there,
or seems to. It's easy
to stand lost in the waves,
miss the reality
that it only continues,
or worse, focus on the land
strung out below me
like particolor taffy.

Horizon is an idea here,
a concept I can't see at all;
there's no edge out there,
no angular declivity, and this
isn't one: land no more ends
than Ocean begins. It merely
melts to caramel sand and slowly
slips into the world's mouth.
========================
*sigh*
ya had me from the title on
I hope you guys who live close to the beach truly know how very very lucky you are...
please never take it for granted...
it hurts not to be by it now.

next time youre there...listen in a shell...
you'll hear a moth wishing she was too.



"If you hear teardrops falling like rain on the rooftops ...
know what you're listening to ... is me missing you."

JH

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
7 posted 2003-09-12 04:41 PM


This is superb Mr. Ratleader....I love the sea...always wanted to write about it...have been in it, on it, under it, by it, and explored it some...would love to write more about it...you've done wonderfully here...here's a few...they suck..but, I'm Toerag?

To begin with
The sea is a sound
A down and around pound of sound
A lot of swish and splish
The smell of something big.
______________________________

Don't go to the ocean
With a notion
Of what you will find.
___________________________

I went down to the sea
Bearing a garland of words
To honor the Sea and the Night
The wind and the starts
And forgot them in my passion for sea shells
___________________________________________

Little toy shovels
Are lost by the sea
So are the children
Like you and me.
__________________________________

In the early morning moonlight
I cast my net into the dark horizon
And the dawn
Like the gleaming belly of a surfacing fish
Leapt from the sea.
_____________________________________________


This is all I know of the sea..it's probably enough..

[This message has been edited by Toerag (09-12-2003 05:28 PM).]

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2003-09-12 08:08 PM


Yo Toe -- You ought to post those on their own, if you haven't done it already, especially the last three. You have a way of saying serious things lightly that is absolutely horripilating to anybody who's tuned in to it!

And JM, I'm glad you saw this one. As I posted, I wondered whether you would like it.
...but as for the listening, I'd much rather hold a Moth to my ear, and hear her whisper of sea shells.......

Hi, Aenimal...I try to take lessons in originality from anyplace I can learn 'em...you're one of the best around.
  
Suthern...Yes...I try so hard to see things that others miss, or in a way that others don't. Sometimes I succeed, but as often as not I also miss things that should be obvious.

EA -- You're onto me....I'd rather be creative than profound, which will probably demote most of my stuff to the dustbin, but at least I have fun writing it!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2003-09-13 01:30 PM


This feels sort of infinite, vast, embracing, overwhelming.
I love it.
Love, Margherita

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
10 posted 2003-09-14 12:54 PM


Ed - you do see the world as other dont or rather ignore:

It merely
melts to caramel sand and slowly
slips into the world's mouth.

beautiful lines . . .
xxoo

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