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Open Poetry #28
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2003-09-12 02:17 PM


Borders never quite pressed
shadows across these eyes
some dark veil, in corners of   day
to shield I's from corona flash
over edges of eclipsing thought
or frame these lips in  touch

The dark holds

wind sings in bluer tones chorded --

to midnight    I remember
watching light slip into a cold moon
unending through fingers,
and silver sliding
from tree tops
so many words left
palms facing upward

to be added page by page
so that memories saved like this
were   denied    the sting of eyes

Flash blurred -- tears cried on
offering such alms as
these fronds of me

so delicate the want
bend and seek the dream
up over the edge of the world
like storm clouds: the voice whispering
hauntingly: let me in,
soft orchid strokes brushing
gold silk
stretched to screen

"When I see the light again will your heart I read?"

Upwards palm in beg

I bleed

waiting between moment and memory
empty rain and echo's
the oceans rearrange their affairs

it's late now

rest

I will always belong to you


The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you




[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (09-12-2003 03:03 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-09-12 02:22 PM


Oh, Lauren and Capt. Ron, this is so beautiful.
But with you two writing, I would never
expect any less.
I would have put a favorite verse, but I didn't
want to pick just one out.
Hugs to you both  
Ethel

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-09-12 02:30 PM






(smiles) Yay! Oh Lauren and Ron, I just love this, dearest friends, Lauren, your wonderful imagery and Ron's fabulous narration both make an excellent photomontage of excellence! (big angel group hug) God Bless You, sweet friends, this is beautiful, I could see as the moon kept changing cycles a new picture or mirage was unraveled, yay, we all love you so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Lauren and Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you both!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-09-12 02:43 PM


After the loud sigh...
the sound you just heard was me throwing
my pens and notebooks out the window!
Absolutley amazing blending of pens here you two!!
Please say you will du-et again..?!
~Smiles & Hugs to you both, Nancy~

      ~ Summer can't be over...
   I still have sand in my shoes ~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-09-12 02:54 PM


Borders never quite pressed
shadows across these eyes
some dark veil, in corners of day
to shield I's from corona flash
over edges of eclipsing thought
or frame these lips in  touch

The dark holds

wind sings in bluer tones chorded --

to midnight I remember
watching light slip into a cold moon
unending through fingers
and silver sliding from tree tops
so many words left
palms facing upward

to be added page by page
so that memories saved like this
were denied the sting of eyes

Flash blurred-- tears cried on
offering such alms as
these fronds of me

so delicate the want
bend and seek the dream
up over the edge of the world
like storm clouds: the voice whispering
hauntingly: let me in,
soft orchid strokes brushing
gold silk
stretched to screen

"When I see the light again will your heart I read?"

Upwards palm in beg

I bleed

waiting between moment and memory
empty rain and echo's
the oceans rearrange their affairs

it's late now

rest

I will always belong to you


===========================


OMG.........................
I am in elation afterglow....
I am high with exquisite euphoria
I am moth giddy!!!
I am grateful to have witnessed this dueting...I got poetic tingles as soon as I saw the names...
I never wanted this one to end.....
my printer is turned on and Im finding a frame......

Lauren
Ron

"If you hear teardrops falling like rain on the rooftops ...
know what you're listening to ... is me missing you."

JH

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2003-09-12 03:06 PM


Exquisite melding of poetic talent and heart!  Kudos to both of you!
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2003-09-12 03:23 PM


""When I see the light again will your heart I read?"

Upwards palm in beg

I bleed

waiting between moment and memory
empty rain and echo's
the oceans rearrange their affairs

it's late now

rest

I will always belong to you"

Reading this, I wonder why I bother trying to write at all.
Incredible you two...truly superb.
(Even if it did take me someplace I'd have rather not gone today.     

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
7 posted 2003-09-12 03:42 PM


I already know that Lauren can write poetry, but until now, I have not read any of Cpat's, although while meeting with Susan, she did tell me that he could write poetry very well.

Therefore, I found Lauren's style mixed with Cpat's - the result was like taking a great recipe and combining it with another outstanding recipe and yielding something completely different, yet excellent just the same. Does that make sense? lol.

Enjoyed!

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2003-09-12 03:51 PM


Perfect duet...absolutely seamless, the best of the best, from two of PIP's finest writers.

Encore!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2003-09-12 03:57 PM


Kudos go to Ms Lauren.... it is her magic and talent that make this the piece it is. I simply stood by and handed her pens to write with... she did the rest, which, as usual is magic..

thank you all
and thank you Lauren for carrying me through the excersize.

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (09-12-2003 04:00 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2003-09-12 04:08 PM


in complete awe of this, two of pip's brightest..urgh..words..not...coming..description is futile
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
11 posted 2003-09-12 04:27 PM


Capt~
you give me far too much credit, as I would never have come up with these verses with out your pen....for that I am most thankful....thank you for your pen!!

~~~~~

I am so excited that each of you came in to read and give your heartfelt replies....it really makes writing and sharing worth it....

thank you all

MUWWWAAAHHHSSS and HUGSSS


Lauren~

The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
12 posted 2003-09-12 04:37 PM


Is it just me or does anybody else feel that Lauren is feeling (besides looking) fine?


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2003-09-12 04:45 PM



Well wrap this up with a silver bow
and put it under my Christmas tree...

Brava!  Bravo!

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
14 posted 2003-09-12 07:16 PM


nice duet
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

15 posted 2003-09-15 11:57 AM


over edges of eclipsing thought
or frame these lips in  touch

The dark holds

wind sings in bluer tones chorded

to midnight    I remember
watching light slip into a cold moon
unending through fingers,
and silver sliding from tree tops
so many words left
palms facing upward


=================================

I sooooooooooo needed to read this one again..


wind sings in bluer tones chorded --

*sigh*

(hoping you two will duet again)(moth begging)

"If you hear teardrops falling like rain on the rooftops ...
know what you're listening to ... is me missing you."

JH

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

16 posted 2003-09-15 12:05 PM


(chuckling) Moth... the greeneyed one has to decide on that...

but certainly glad you enjoyed...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2004-10-09 10:53 AM


see ... me library is full of butterfly lovelies
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

18 posted 2005-07-29 01:01 AM


needed to read this gem again.

one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ...
~ take only memories ... leave only footprints ~


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