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Open Poetry #28
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Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-09-12 01:11 PM


Tusk of ivory
reflect
shine white
trusted you..

I'm a fool..
those pearly
teeth
were grinning.

You
have won.

I
am not
real..
I
do not
feel.

You
were right,
but I
pricked my finger
and

I bled
I bled..

this time,
not for you.

© Copyright 2003 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-09-12 01:15 PM


I
am not
real..
I
do not
feel.


liar liar pants on fire!!!!!!

you show you are both alive and feel.. with every word you write...

wonderful piece... I enjoyed

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
2 posted 2003-09-12 01:24 PM


A unique presentation, captivating.
Great write. TD

JilGirl
Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364
Washington
3 posted 2003-09-12 02:09 PM


If you're not real, you write
mighty fine poetry for an
inanimate object!

Praises to the real you!

'Tiz feathers that make the bird -
Always remember to keep them fluffed
but, never, EVER ruffle them!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2003-09-12 02:10 PM



...Sorry, Meghan...it's a beautiful piece, and I try, really, really hard, to write a thoughtful comment when I see something like this...and then I tripped over Cpat's comment and burst out laughing.  What ARE they putting in his burritos?

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2003-09-12 03:30 PM


I love your writing!
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
6 posted 2003-09-12 03:34 PM


Oh, you are very real indeed! I love your intensity...everything you write seems so charged that one spark would explode it like a pipe bomb.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
7 posted 2003-09-12 03:35 PM


Deep - That first verse threw me (and still does).  The rest of the verse made me regret the many times I "smiled."  Nicely done.
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2003-09-12 04:01 PM


you rock...
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2003-09-12 04:27 PM


I
am not
real..
I
do not
feel.

You
were right,
but I
pricked my finger
and

I bled
I bled..



Meghan, it's odd how some people think
no-one hurts in this world but themselves,
isn't it? I love your writing, sweetie,
because you are so real!!  
Hugs to you  
Ethel

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2003-09-13 03:24 AM



Oh yes...you are real and you feel
and yes...you bleed upon the page.  
Beautifully expressed, Meghan.

Hugs,
~Vicky

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2003-09-13 04:27 AM


sadly beautifully you
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
12 posted 2003-09-13 08:48 AM


Ohh Meg, you do write with such grace

You
were right,
but I
pricked my finger
and

I bled
I bled..

this time,
not for you.

mannn . . . this is the punch lady
you got it . . .
Beautiful writing . . .
bittersweet in nature
*smile*
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (09-13-2003 08:52 AM).]

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

13 posted 2003-09-13 10:36 AM


Wow...so deeply dark and beautiful.

Eric

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