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Open Poetry #28
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Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2003-09-11 11:45 AM





Fort Larned leans into
the future now, bereft of normal sounds ~

it’s the abnormal I hear
and see, for he had asked her hand, and
promised his life to her,
would she please marry him, and she, in jest
thought to tease, and play, and be
a woman liberated, without the veil,

and then the war,
and he teased her before he kissed her an unbreakable
goodbye, saying
he would not marry a hard-headed woman ~

and then, the telegram,
black words against a red sea,
then a noise             that only pain makes,
now she still roams, begging him,
please,



© Copyright 2003 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2003-09-11 11:50 AM


Oh Karilea, this is so tragic...(the story, that is)...I'm speechless, but very very moved at it's beauty and your awesome gift!!~S~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart  ~~S~~

[This message has been edited by Sunnyone (09-11-2003 12:26 PM).]

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
2 posted 2003-09-11 11:50 AM


wow!!  what a write,,,  

                   

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2003-09-11 12:00 PM


NO WORDS LADY......NONE.......JUST SITTING IN AWE OF YOUR TALENT.  

I must have had my momma's will
and Gods Amazing Grace...

I'm a survivor....
(Reba)

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
4 posted 2003-09-11 12:01 PM


this is one of your best....haunting romance living still in the cracks and shadows of time.....wow Karilea~ this a keeper....
hugsssss and peace


Lauren~

The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
5 posted 2003-09-11 12:02 PM


You have a unique touch with emotions, especially those concerned with the unsaid thought that becomes so important ...after it is too late!  KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-09-11 12:14 PM


OMG!  This is amazing...YOU are amazing..
I am speechless...
there are times when you post a write
which leaves me humbled to be in your company...this is one of them.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2003-09-11 12:24 PM


well captured... in image and tone...

nice work K.. nice indeed

Moon Dust
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since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
8 posted 2003-09-11 12:46 PM


Wow its quite sad but i love it.

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2003-09-11 12:48 PM


Karilea...The very best romance, captures the trajedy as well as the love...like this!  
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
10 posted 2003-09-12 03:24 PM


Karilea - This is why women should always say YES when a man asks them to do something!  I just KNEW you would learn this valuable lesson!  lol

Beautifully written, too.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
11 posted 2003-09-12 03:27 PM



Oh...very well done, Karilea.  
You've captured it beautifully.

Hugs
~Vicky

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

12 posted 2003-09-12 03:32 PM


"it’s the abnormal I hear
and see, for he had asked her hand, and
promised his life to her,
would she please marry him, and she, in jest
thought to tease, and play, and be
a woman liberated, without the veil,

and then the war,
and he teased her before he kissed her an unbreakable
goodbye, saying
he would not marry a hard-headed woman ~"

Haunting, yes.  A loss never to be regained.  She must've been a redhead...lol.  

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