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Open Poetry #28
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Mesh (The Cpat Challenge)
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Mesh (The Cpat Challenge) |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida 
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She is young and wishful she smooshes her face against screen feeling the cruel cold mesh of containment As mother reminds "You can't play with them, you're a girl" She is a wife with babe on hip she puts hand against screen in longing wondering where he is off to and feels the prick of mesh come undone She is no longer a wife she puts hand up in wave feeling the breeze of youth through steel, teasing as she watches her child pull away She is older and alone she shuffles to door laying her hand upon the comfort of cool mesh and sets the lock |
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| © Copyright 2003 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Oh, Susan, this is awesome. Wish I had written this!! Since I didn't....I will put it directly into my library. hugs, Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Susan...love this wonderful collection of vignettes. I could not only see, but FEEL each one. Just lovely...  If you judge people, you have no time to love them. --Mother Teresa [This message has been edited by vlraynes (09-10-2003 09:26 PM).] |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
terrifically penned,,, |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Absolute power! Awesome write Susan. TD |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
I say challenge well met  You go girl  Crystal |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
She is older and alone she shuffles to door laying her hand upon the comfort of cool mesh and sets the lock very interesting , use of mesh conveying freedom and fear of freedom |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ah.... so you did decide to give it a try.... very nicely done. The progressive use of the screen as a metaphor for the different stages of the barriers "she" finds in life with it moving from a restraint on her to a restraint on the world coming in... very good... glad you decided to play... very nice... very nice indeed. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Yep! that'll do it just fine. Great write Ed |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Susan...wow. IWIHWT.... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you all so much...your responses mean a lot.  Ron~I have no life right now...hence the challenge became a bit more attractive to me..lol... |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Woohoo Susan. Love it! You painted upon the paper canvas such powerful images I could see them with my mind's eye. Well done I say. Keep it up girl. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Evocative~ Thank you! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
As a child time passed so slowly and we had our whole life to look forward to. How well you convey the endless cycle, and the view from the other side of the screen. Nice mesh Susan, enjoyed this very much! |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Indeed a challenge well met....I can relate- hugsssss and peace Lauren~ The way you move me |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
She is gone now but the scents of her heirloom garden draw the young girl to the edge of a new world |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
What a gripping poem -- well done! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
wonderful strong writing Susan... M |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Read all of your replies and imagine me co-signing all of them! Veeeery well done and much enjoyed!  Linda |
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