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Open Poetry #28
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-09-10 04:27 AM



Tell me didja lose it too?
Are you too white to keep a beat?
Did you lose it on the strings
sliding with a long neck cheat?

Did you pause to hit a shot
and miss the simple grasp of things?
Did you really buy the 'tude'?
(and please? who toldja you could sing?)

Did you think you could distort
past progression of the chord?
And the whammy bar was jammed
but oh I loved the way the cord
wrapped between yer knees...
priceless yes it was indeed--
the way you hunkered down...

Yep. I know. You don't know her.
Not that one in front of you.
Lifting up her skirt on cue
begging for a thrust-she dared--
to turn around in flicking tongue
as if you were the only one
It made me wonder how...

how she knew the things to do
she looked like she was home
she donned a toga just for us
knowing that she was in Rome--

princess pouting cinnamon
kiss her
she's brown-sugar lipped--
there's a flask in cleft between
begging for a sip

BOOM pah BOOM
and spin the sticks
clash of cymbals
and lipstick
powder flash
and life that licks
and leaves me with a taste...

© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2003-09-10 04:39 AM


K - *smiling at you*

the way you progress from him to her
within a melody . . . is quite amazing Lady

Did you think you could distort
past progression of the chord?
And the whammy bar was jammed
but oh I loved the way the cord
wrapped between yer knees...
priceless yes it was indeed--
the way you hunkered down...

liking the sound of this *smile*
xxoo

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
2 posted 2003-09-10 04:45 AM



Karen?...just...wow

So much to hear and feel in this one...
I don't have the words...but this hit me.

Hugs you...love you, lady...

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
3 posted 2003-09-10 09:28 AM


Didn't we agree that drummers are bad for your health?????

Nice poem!


EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

4 posted 2003-09-10 10:18 AM


Love it! You hooked me into the reading with the title...and then when I saw the words I had to smile. It's been such a long time since I visited my old garage band days...but the words with which you painted brought the moment all back. You captured the very essence of those days of yesteryear for me. Thanks Serenity that's a very special gift.
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
5 posted 2003-09-10 10:26 AM


Yep! witch? Ya gotta way with words lady!

And? Just a way...
~yeti

"In looking Northward, I see a light"


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2003-09-10 05:40 PM


Luscious? keep em comin, pleaseee don't stop.

Keeping this...

M

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
7 posted 2003-09-10 05:50 PM


Ah yeah, brings back many a memory of rehearsal with the guys!!!!  Love the way you put the pics back into my head...rock on, girl...~S~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart  ~~S~~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2003-09-10 05:53 PM


Awesome K,
oh and uh scuse me ice but not all guys who play the drums are bad..well, okay.. we are but shhhhhhh

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
9 posted 2003-09-10 05:54 PM


I was in this band! lol back in the late 80's

Jason

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2003-09-10 06:30 PM


serenity

Sometimes ya just have to go with the flow...your poem felt this way, ya know?

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
11 posted 2003-09-10 07:28 PM


enjoyed
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2003-09-10 08:11 PM


Grin...thanks all.

This was inspired by a neighbor's sound room--that same one that is located 15 feet away from my room. They had a little jam session yesterday. (Why does EVERYBODY feel the need to play "Smoke On The Water" anyway? sigh.)

I swear that stuff just seems to follow me around...Thanks for reading.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
13 posted 2003-09-10 08:47 PM


Since I can not carry a tune, nor play any instrument known to man...

I was, sadly, always the groupie and never a group...

But I loved this! (again, the groupie!)

Susan

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
14 posted 2003-09-10 09:35 PM


I had a crush on a drummer once....till he dropped his stick and lost his beat. Love this Karen. Chris
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
15 posted 2003-09-10 09:46 PM


Part of Mardi Gra (sp?) pervades the soul of your writes...the jazz that always plays to me in the background...the flavor of the colorful folk you paint so well.
Really great. TD

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
16 posted 2003-09-10 10:54 PM


WOW!!WOW!!WOW!!!You go girl.This speaks so much and I loved it.
Crystal

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