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Open Poetry #28
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2003-09-10 01:20 AM



I've climbed the highest mountain
and stood in the meadowmist while it rained down on me
camouflaging the clearing, mistaking reality.

A phase of lavender fields
swaying in the wind
believing I could, for a minute.

I have drifted over a pond
floating like a water lily
and felt you in the swirling beside me.

Your hair fanning out like an underwater flame
catching my breath
laid down on the edge of my dreams.

Training my eyes to the light
seeing how far I had come to the top of rise
and how far down I might fall.

But the view that I'm seeing
from the top of the clouds
all powdered blue in the chill

Thrills me~


© Copyright 2003 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
1 posted 2003-09-10 01:28 AM


This is wonderful!  Thank you for sharing it.
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2003-09-10 01:28 AM


Beautiful -- just beautiful. This one is going straight to my library!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2003-09-10 02:01 AM


Thanks to you two gentle men for your nice comments!  

You shouldn't have, but I'm so glad you did.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2003-09-10 08:19 AM


very nicely done Bluesy... the imagery well captured and the idea..well presented..

very nice work.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
5 posted 2003-09-10 08:30 AM


ahahah Bluesy . . . I adore the ending
beautiful!
and let it be, please
tweets
xxoo

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2003-09-10 11:41 AM


Well golly gee, thanks Cpat, I appreciate it very much.

I'm so glad you did, thank you tweets~

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
7 posted 2003-09-10 03:40 PM


What a finish here my dear!
The last line, so perfectly completed the momentary trembles when we look down...
Wonderful. TD

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
8 posted 2003-09-10 04:12 PM


Hi Blues, and I am captivated by this one, especially the fantastic ending!!!  Sometimes we have to forget about the falling, and just enjoy the view!!!!  ~S~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart  ~~S~~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2003-09-10 04:39 PM


"Your hair fanning out like an underwater flame"

~ I swear, I will never be able to look at hair fanning out in water like that without thinking of this line.

You have such a beautiful and unique way of seeing things--and feeling them!


Linda

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2003-09-10 04:43 PM


Lori

From the way I've seen you fly...I think your landing will be true.  This is beauiful poetry!

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2003-09-10 04:44 PM






(smiles) Oh Lori, this is precious, sweet friend, I too just love the wonderful animation and imagery you put into this, made me imagine you rising from the ocean and feeling the sky oscillating! (kiss on cheek) I love this, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
12 posted 2003-09-10 05:02 PM


A great write, you know I loved this!

Jason

SPUD
Junior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 12

13 posted 2003-09-10 05:27 PM


This is very pretty. I enjoyed the imagery.

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
14 posted 2003-09-10 07:00 PM


terrific write,,

                   

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
15 posted 2003-09-10 07:12 PM


liked
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
16 posted 2003-09-10 07:34 PM


Kathleeen~ Thank you for reading my dear~  It means a lot.

Sunnyone~ Isn't that the truth, thanks for your knowing reply.

Hiya Earthy Mama~  I'm glad you could picture it,
and I thank you for your nice compliments.

Martie~ You mean to say you think I'll land on my own two feet afterall?
Thanks for the vote of confidence, I might just surprise everybody one day.  Hugs~

Noah~ I love the way you see things, thank you for sharing that image with me.

Well if I didn't,  I do now, thank you Jason~

Hi SPUD~   Thank you kindly and welcome to Passions.

QJ~   I appreciate that.

Thank you sweet vandana~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2003-09-10 09:20 PM


Bluesy~

I loved this, so cool and cleansing..

Beautiful..

Susan

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
18 posted 2003-09-11 12:12 PM


love this pretty lady....I almost felt as though I was falling ever so softly.....hugssss you
Lauren~

The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
19 posted 2003-09-11 12:32 PM


Susan~ Thank you.  It does feel that way, cool and cleansing when one learns to breathe easier.  (with a little help from my friend)

Lauren~ I'm glad you felt the softness as it was meant to be.  After all that's what clouds are for!!  (to cushion the blow)  
Hugs back at you~

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
20 posted 2003-09-11 05:00 PM


Lori,
I knew your fear of falling would never hold you back. Another excellent write. I always look forward to your words...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
21 posted 2003-09-12 12:37 PM


Training my eyes to the light
seeing how far I had come to the top of rise
and how far down I might fall.

Absolutely lovely. *S*

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
22 posted 2003-09-12 12:42 PM


I thought ~ Exceptional imagery. Enjoyed!
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
23 posted 2003-09-12 01:32 PM


Thank you for always encouraging me
when I need it most, like today.  hugs Larry~

Well, I'm teetering right about now, look out below!  
Thank you suthern gal~  

Opeth~ What a nice surprise, thanks.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
24 posted 2003-09-12 01:46 PM


beautiful Lori...

hugss
M

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

25 posted 2003-09-12 03:46 PM


"I have drifted over a pond
floating like a water lily
and felt you in the swirling beside me.

Your hair fanning out like an underwater flame
catching my breath
laid down on the edge of my dreams."

The edge of a dream...have walked it myself.  You do have a way with images Bluesy.  "Underwater flame"...love that!     

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
26 posted 2003-09-12 04:09 PM


Maureen and Duncan, thank you!
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