Dead Leaves (Re-write) - pipTalk Forums

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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-09-09 01:48 AM

I crush dead leaves
below my feet
when I am leaving
you.

I make believe I'm a god
walking on millions
of tiny forests.

I wave my arms to
my sides and
act as if I'm tightrope
walking.

And it seems as
though the day's never
coming..
Everything dark is
still roaming,
I listen to what
your heart told me..

The day I walk away,
I'll not be given the courtesy
of looking back.

Embed my suffering
in dead leaves..
bare feet are
not my home,
I'll be so tired..
walking
with the burden of
owning this night.

Starlight driver,
we ask not to
reveal your brake.
Rather still
this pain is my birthmark.

So you can
keep on driving..for all I care..
I'll light my
last cigarette...

Crush
dead leaves
below
my feet...

When I
am leaving you..

Tonight
my lips will
forget..

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

1 posted 2003-09-09 02:10 AM

Very well done...One of your best methinks.

~wranx

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-09-09 02:13 AM

awesome just awesome!

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

3 posted 2003-09-09 05:28 AM

Very nice penning,, lady poetess

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2003-09-09 06:28 AM

Embed my suffering
in dead leaves..
bare feet are
not my home,
I'll be so tired..
walking
with the burden of
owning this night.

~*~

To think, to own
a night...

Thank you, Meghan.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

5 posted 2003-09-09 06:43 AM

I make believe I'm a god
walking on millions
of tiny forests.

very cool lines in a great piece of poetic catharsis

gringakiwi
Member

since 2003-08-05

Posts 189

6 posted 2003-09-09 09:50 AM

My favourite part:

"...Rather still
this pain is my birthmark.

So you can
keep on driving..for all I care..
I'll light my
last cigarette..."

a rather stoic approach, but oh so true..

Connie

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

7 posted 2003-09-09 12:02 PM

Beautiful and potent work, Kaoru.

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

8 posted 2003-09-09 12:30 PM

I felt autumn and wind and the coldness of winter as it approached in the end...this made me want to break out The Mantle by Agalloch.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

9 posted 2003-09-09 09:57 PM

meggles this rocks

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

10 posted 2003-09-09 11:43 PM

This is great

Crystal

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

11 posted 2003-09-10 03:25 PM

WEll heck, I never thought of leaving like that, but I sure do love the sound of this.

Nice writing Kaoru~

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

12 posted 2003-09-10 10:50 PM

Ohh Meg, this is lovely
you MUST get White Stripes,
"Dead Leaves and a Dirty Ground"
Please listen . . .
xxoo

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