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Open Poetry #28
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gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-09-08 09:28 AM




You are greed
wading
in chances given
unfulfilled


oh no one
is as innocent
as you


always
swimming clear
of blame
when you trip
over own
spilled water

You are selfish
like death
yet love springs
like pure
water


from where
you stained
marks
upon
splintered wood

that had
suffered
long before
roots were cut

It was that
slippery scale
~lost to saved~

that leaked jealousy
from stars
who wanted
to wade
like you
and I

to be carried
despite weight
of your
heavy burdens

in dreams
and
in day

evaporated

I begin
without you

again
.
.
.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

© Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

1 posted 2003-09-08 09:31 AM


Gemma, this is outstanding!  I'm keeping it to read over and over, I just love how it twists and turns.  I love the tone of it!
~K~

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-09-08 09:47 AM


that leaked jealousy
from stars
who wanted
to wade
like you
and I

to be carried
despite weight
of your
heavy burdens

in dreams
and
in day

evaporated


dear girl... you are far from evaporated..it only seems to you at this time your heart is parched.



Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
3 posted 2003-09-08 10:32 AM


Gemma~

Let's get together over a drink and discuss this "man" we both seem to know...

Beautiful piece.

Susan

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2003-09-08 10:44 AM


Fantastic...I love this one!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

      ~ Summer can't be over...
   I still have sand in my shoes ~

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
5 posted 2003-09-08 11:49 AM


I like the way you lay contrasting colors on top of each other, show us the truth they make together....things like this:

"that leaked jealousy
from stars
who wanted
to wade
like you
and I"

Startling and yet true.


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2003-09-08 12:34 PM


oooooo, owie owie owie
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
7 posted 2003-09-08 03:44 PM


better without him besides now you can focus your attention on Kelly Jones from the 'phonics
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
8 posted 2003-09-08 03:57 PM


Wow!

Gem, have you noticed how powerful the words get as time progresses?

Eventually it becomes all too clear that it isn't him we're writing about, it's ourselves.. our reactions. Our anger mixed with sadness and longing.. it almost becomes too much.

But everyday a bit of strength returns, maybe more than we had to begin with.. We'll never say we don't love that person, and I don't think I'll ever stop feeling anguish over the end.. but there's more to us than that.. there's ourselves and who we are, alone.

I'll stop babbling, I make no sense.. I like this write a lot.. Saving it.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2003-09-08 06:30 PM


Like a circle...James
angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
10 posted 2003-09-08 06:33 PM


Hey girl I feel you in this and although your heart may feel parched it will soon have the refreshment of love and happiness that it so deserves.
Crystal

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
11 posted 2003-09-08 08:03 PM


Kelllllllyyyyyyy Joooooonnnnnnnneeeeessss

Don't say his name you idiot, I go wappy.

dribbling

I think he has a girlfriend.

Thankyou for the replies

and meg, it made perfect sense, you're so right.

kelly joooooonessssssssssssssssssss

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