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Open Poetry #28
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Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-09-06 02:07 AM


A lie
is a
truth
unraveled.

i
watched my
heart rise
with the steam
of
dehydrated
rain

if i
could remember
all
the places
we've been,
i'd
lie in bed
going over
them
in my
memory
repeating the best parts
over and
over again.

the sky says
you're just
another lover..
another name
conjured in the wind.
a
hammer
to
my head.

and I felt more sorrow for leaving you than
for anyone else i've ever traveled on
by
your smile though sacrificed to millions
of
pointless reasons, it seemed to catch my
eye..

You
were
my
ocean
wave.
the cool
breeze
in my
hurricane.

And with you,
yet not.
Complete
fails to serve
me..

The rythm
to my dance but
oh
i stumbled at
the chance
at
finally having
a good excuse
to
be selfish..

and you..
i can't stay angry,
but I'll
most likely
still cry..
with the
very thought
of
not being able

to wish on the sky
for you.

with the
snow
my angels fall..
along with
the whispers
i graced upon
your
ear..

I still ask myself whether or not you can hear..

Like a
hot drink
you'd
once
warmed me,
you
built up
my
body heat..

as
steam will rise..
above all things.
above me
and you..
above the memories.
soaring high
from the
casualties of love.
We'll
survive,
unbound.

As later the rain
will
fall like tears

i will
be
the salt.

© Copyright 2003 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2003-09-06 02:13 AM


Very deep, very powerful. The silence is deafening in this.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

2 posted 2003-09-06 02:19 AM


Kaoru, I think this is your best...it's so deep and so revealing.

"with the
snow
my angels fall..
along with
the whispers
i graced upon
your
ear..

I still ask myself whether or not you can hear.."

I know this all too well,and your words have really touched me.  ~K~

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
3 posted 2003-09-06 02:51 AM


very nice write,,
enjoyed the read,,,

                


green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
4 posted 2003-09-06 03:21 AM


I agree with Kahril, this is your best so far.  But for some reason I have a feeling that youll be getting better.  This is a nice place to pratice.  This is meant in no way negative.  

Craig

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
5 posted 2003-09-06 07:55 AM


Oh Meg, Ohh this is the best you have birthed . . . there is not one single line that did not touch me deeply.
This is perfect in every sense
*head bowed*
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (09-06-2003 07:57 AM).]

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2003-09-06 09:42 AM


I think of all the great words that have spewed from your mind this is my favorite (and I love them all).  I am saving this...

Do you understand how remarkable you are?

Susan

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

7 posted 2003-09-06 09:45 AM


Wow...!!!
Eric

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

8 posted 2003-09-06 01:47 PM


A bump, and click into the library....~K~
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2003-09-06 01:49 PM


Probably your all-time best, but then, perhaps this is just the fist spill of the salt.
I'm saving this one, Kaoru, it is stunning.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2003-09-06 02:57 PM


with the
snow
my angels fall..
along with
the whispers
i graced upon
your
ear..

I think this is one of my favs and what's with everybody posting new pics?! yeesh you go AWOL in hermit mode for a few days and everybody changes on you

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

11 posted 2003-09-07 12:33 PM


Aenimal...here to remind you that you changed YOUR picture first, and now everyone else thought that they needed updates...
here's mine ;-) hee hee  ~K~  

scuffedshoe2
Junior Member
since 2003-08-04
Posts 39

12 posted 2003-09-07 12:45 PM


it doesn't get any clearer...awsome poem

-ian (WI)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2003-09-07 02:59 AM


Meg, I'm in awe of your beauty
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
14 posted 2003-09-07 11:46 AM



I just posted a little response to this beauty....
/pip/Forum81/HTML/002404.html

Thoroughly enjoyed this poem, and while reading it, my own muse started to whisper.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2003-09-07 11:57 AM


Meghan, I love this. I do believe it's
one of your best. And this part...... oh yeah...

Like a
hot drink
you'd
once
warmed me,
you
built up
my
body heat..

as
steam will rise..
above all things.
above me
and you..


Hugs to you  
Ethel

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

16 posted 2003-09-08 09:33 AM


"I still ask myself whether or not you can hear"


only if we listen with more than our ears...


bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

17 posted 2003-09-08 05:03 PM


I could feel every trace, the full body of each word.

You rock, K/M.

B/M

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
18 posted 2003-09-08 06:27 PM


You communicate well...James
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