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Passions in Poetry

Mud

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Pilgrimage
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since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


0 posted 09-05-2003 03:51 PM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Pilgrimage


Mud (Spenserian Sonnet in iambic tetrameter)

He rolled and formed, from spit and dust,
his basic sculpture, called it Man.
Now we expect the universe
to bow and dance at our demand.

Its easy to forget the hands
connecting bone and shaping flesh
in his own image, from the sand,
to share this world in righteousness.

Sometimes I wonder why he blessed
us with his love, and shed his blood.
How easy we forget whose lips
breathed spirit into lifeless mud.

Perhaps divinity can see
some good concealed in you and me.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

© Copyright 2003 Nancy Wilcox - All Rights Reserved
Kaoru
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since 06-07-2003
Posts 3888
where the wild flowers grow


1 posted 09-05-2003 04:13 PM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

This is just amazing work!

I love it.
JilGirl
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since 05-24-2003
Posts 455
Washington


2 posted 09-05-2003 04:21 PM       View Profile for JilGirl   Email JilGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JilGirl

A Spirit write from a spirit
in touch with the Spirit!

There's MUCH good in the
"mud and the breath"!

It's there for those who
seek to see it!

Bravo! And ~ PTL!

'Tiz feathers that make the bird -
Always remember to keep them fluffed
but, never, EVER ruffle them!

Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


3 posted 09-05-2003 04:35 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Nan~
This is just a splendid penning~

Oh my ... how rich your thoughts~
Stunning my friend~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
   noles1@totcon.com   

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


4 posted 09-05-2003 04:35 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

More! Want more of this Pilgrim!

Always quality when you lift a pen....always something that's not to be missed. I yearn for your consistency, and the consummate skill with which you create rhymed verse.

~~(>   ~~(>  ~~( >    ~~~(ER>
______________Ratleader______________

SharaRose
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since 07-19-2003
Posts 2535
Somewhere out there~


5 posted 09-05-2003 06:13 PM       View Profile for SharaRose   Email SharaRose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SharaRose

So true. He sees something we don't all see. I thank God He sees things different than we do, everyday.

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


6 posted 09-05-2003 06:30 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Fantastic write in a difficult form!
Brava!  Love this!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

      ~ Summer can't be over...
   I still have sand in my shoes ~

Pilgrimage
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since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


7 posted 09-05-2003 11:17 PM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pilgrimage

Thanks, guys, I appreciate it so much when you reply to my stuff.  I'm glad you liked it, it took a lot of work.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


8 posted 04-29-2004 03:32 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

This is a cute bit of poetry.  I've always thought it dangerous to mess around with the sonnet's meter length, just because proportion is so important to a sonnet... it's kind of like making a cake with a tablespoon less of every ingredient... you won't end up with less cake but something different entirely...

If that makes any sense at all?  

I guess I say that mostly because I'm on a sonnet binge right now and I can't help reading things with format in mind.

I do love the subject matter of this poem, especially the conclusion that though we are mud, there might be something good inside of us... a little bit of hope against the backing of the preceding few quatrains that make us feel kind of bad about ourselves.  

Yeah, I don't like it either, how people think they're better than their origins...

Take care
Brian

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

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