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Eden
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Eden |
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sweepea82 New Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 8 |
She can't see me through her misery because she's been blinded by her tears. She doesn't know the joys that love brings- She's been lied to all these years. And if I could change just one thing, She would see her hopes, her dreams In her Garden of Eden. There is no pain there, She can dance there forever. And watch it rain without care. She can love without loss be loved in return. Sit on top of her world And watch while it turns, In her Garden of Eden. She lies in bed at night, but she never sleeps. She listens to the clock strike And it listens while she weeps. She tosses and she turns Fearing the next day. Something inside her burns, And she can't even pray. But if I could change just one thing She would live her hopes her dreams In her Garden of Eden. She would never know pain. She would dance forever And laugh while it rains. She would love and never think of loss. She'd see that she's loved in return. She'd be on top of her world, Watching while it turns... In her Garden of Eden. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Amber - All Rights Reserved | |||
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symphony_of_thoughts Member
since 2003-08-03
Posts 95Somewhere |
I liked how you conveyed serenity with "The Garden of Eden". I also liked how it flowed through reading it. It would look and flow more clearly though if you condensed the rhyming into blocks of phrases. But otherwise, it was very good. |
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