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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2003-09-03 04:57 PM

Going To A Home Store Instead Of Sitting
On The Back Porch Playing My Guitar

I’ve got everything I came for,
forgotten why I’m here;
somehow it’s deeply offending
to fret yard sculptures and screws,
slide in among the rakes and PVC,
the livealone ladies still determined
to somehow redecorate it right this time,
scratchbelly men just standing there
by the power tools, forgetting how to play

Wedging through the musak aisles,
All the things that make a house a house,
the fertilizer racks and mirror tiles,
all the things, things and paint rollers;
I’ve forgotten why I’m here
was it a gazebo, a ceiling fan
and could I manage an E-minor seventh?
On a uke, maybe, after these silent years,
everything I came for still deeply offending
and it’s waiting on the porch,
strings losing tune as the dew gathers

Out at the parking lot, the sun sets
in gold confetti, makes an irritating glare
in the nursery, scalds the flowers yellow-pink
and the ladders along the wall,
all the things that make a house a house,
will dew split the top before I’m home?
I could buy shop towels, denatured alcohol
but I’ve got everything I came for,
all the little things, house things,
I’ve forgotten why I’m here
and it’s time to go home.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2003-09-03 04:59 PM

LOL...oh my gosh, visions
of the recent remodeling
have come back to haunt me!

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

2 posted 2003-09-03 05:16 PM

you may have got everything you came for...but I'll bet my socks you do not have everything you need.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2003-09-03 05:34 PM

all the things that make a house a house,

I love the repetition of this line... it somehow sums up the emptiness... reminds me of the song lyric "a house is not a home". You've perfectly captured the scurry... the need to DO instead of enjoy... surface trappings that really mean nothing.

but I’ve got everything I came for,
all the little things, house things,
I’ve forgotten why I’m here
and it’s time to go home.

And home is where the heart is. *S* (how's that for tacking a cliche' onto your exceedingly original work? LOL)

and it’s waiting on the porch,
strings losing tune as the dew gathers

I'd rather hear the guitar... for I suspect it's never out of tune... only out of use. *S* Excellent work! *S*

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2003-09-03 06:00 PM

Ed

This poem just breaks my heart. It is so sad that a home sometimes becomes the sum of the gadgets that men are expected to be able to use to fix it. When what is broken is the music box that sings in the heart. You have written this with such power, in such a simple yet profound way. Makes me want to hug you.

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

5 posted 2003-09-03 06:17 PM

ah...very profound....guess we could all say that...sometimes...we get so busy being busy that we forget what our real purpose is...very nicely penned

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

6 posted 2003-09-03 07:32 PM

We are remodeling right now and I so hear you on this.

Crystal

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

7 posted 2003-09-03 07:36 PM

nice read

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

8 posted 2003-09-03 11:11 PM

This described the chaotic clamoring for all the things that never make a house a home.
Now, just think about this...
If every man and every woman sought the things that made life rich...
Shopping would seldom take place at home depot huh?
Nice write. TD

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

9 posted 2003-09-03 11:53 PM

Do we own things, or do things own us?

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

10 posted 2003-09-06 12:28 PM

If we don't control them, they don't just control us -- they BECOME us.

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______________Ratleader______________

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