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Open Poetry #28
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2003-09-02 09:52 PM



Was That You?


was that you
that was here as I slept
and thought touched
curving small of my back
caressing the internal
vessel of a being
as not to stir
my journey into dreams
I awoke to find
nothing here disturbed
yet an air still lingered
no, not a smell
more the fragrance
of a presence
aimlessly barefoot in vain
I searched each room and corridor
leaving me strangely comforted
by a whispery shadow
slowly opening closed doors
still no sign of you
finding nothing between the walls
till daylight beckoned me
where I found the note you left me
written in dew

"I am living a life, i have no wish to live. How did this happen?" Unknown

© Copyright 2003 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
1 posted 2003-09-02 09:54 PM


warm and chilling at the same time Helen! as only you can write it! hugs, Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul ~
            Emily Dickinson




    

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-09-02 09:57 PM


Yes, Helen. I felt the same as Chris.....
This was romantic with a ghostly, eerie
feel to it. I really liked it.
Hugs  
Ethel

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2003-09-02 10:25 PM


Helen . . .

ahhh like a dream, isn't it?
Beautiful one at that
you brought me there . . .
xxoo

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
4 posted 2003-09-02 10:27 PM


still no sign of you
finding nothing between the walls
till daylight beckoned me
where I found the note you left me
written in dew

kind of mysical with pretty thoughts , real nice

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
5 posted 2003-09-02 10:58 PM


This made me think of tire tracks leaving a print in the dewy grass ...wow...always stunning!!! They just are every time I  read.  

Shara @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
6 posted 2003-09-03 09:16 AM


reminds me of the comforting feeling of someone who passed away letting you know they are still watching over you...
beautiful.... very well done

alisa
Member
since 2003-08-20
Posts 70
Florida
7 posted 2003-09-03 09:23 AM


this one really touched me...


Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2003-09-03 10:11 AM


SweetSweetLady~
You took the whispery and worked it to poetic perfection~

This is pure, elegantly soft, beauty~
I'm sharing it with Pat, who sent me the lovely word-thought~
Love you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com   

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2003-09-03 10:14 AM


Ah...what did the note say???

Dreams..I just finished a very interesting book on dreams..

I enjoyed this very much.

Susan

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
10 posted 2003-09-03 10:21 AM


and the last line just sewed up the whole thing in magic. Have you been sprinkling faerie dust again?
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



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