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Open Poetry #28
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ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2003-08-30 06:52 PM



Observe;
How the shallow whirlpool
Spoon stirred, sends ripple-swirls
Out to brink,
Her thick-rimmed diner cup.
*
How the left hand, index
Middle finger-held
Cigarette
Drops ash unflicked,
On the swirl-faux marble
Counter top.
*
Red eyes, knuckle rubbed
Opened wide.
Random thoughts race,
Behind a stare fixed-in-place...
*
Where does a girl
Go from here
When,
It's two AM...
And it's over?
*
end

© Copyright 2003 ford hume - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2003-08-30 07:28 PM


where indeed, I guess she could always go home to bed. Poignant poem- full of misery and despair.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2003-08-30 09:01 PM


ice

A clear observation...could see her as you have described, with a mixture of honesty and compassion.  Thanks!

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
3 posted 2003-08-30 09:06 PM


Gosh Ice, this reminds me of someone I know...*grin*

Wonderful write m'friend!

froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
4 posted 2003-09-04 04:35 PM


Is this a new one? I don't remember
you playing it in the room. I do really
like this.

:-)

Ribbit

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

5 posted 2003-09-04 05:11 PM



Even the clock's tick
was palpable.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-09-04 05:14 PM


Excellent imagery...
You took me 'there'.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

      ~ Summer can't be over...
  I still have the sand in my shoes ~

Lady Godiva
Junior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 35
at the bottom of your glass
7 posted 2003-09-04 06:06 PM



do you know what I'm thinking..or what I see when I read this!? well hrm...most likely I'll be on the street trying to hail down a taxi...you have my mind wandering

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2003-09-04 09:20 PM


Kerthy
I think she stayed a while at the diner and did just that (went home to bed) miserable and in despair...but I like to think she woke up feeling a little better.....
Thanks for commenting......ice
*
Martie
I am glad the "compassion" came through.
and the clarity....You're welcome......ice
*
tomothysangel
Sounds like you may have had a night or two like this.
Thank you.....ice
*
Froggy
I think I played this in poetry chat, but can't remember for sure? It is a couple months old...... I am glad you like it....ice
*
Decaflame
Thank you for listening close enough to the words to hear it.....ice
*
Lady G.
I have had many different comments on this poem...Most say that the (girl) woman here has just broken up with someone...Others have said that the woman is an aging prostitute, and one person thought the women was homeless and someone had stolen all of her belongings..as you can see, other minds have wandered...Thanks for the comments....ice

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2003-09-04 09:24 PM


Enchantress/Nancy

Thank you for reading this poem and for the  nice comments......:-)
Smiles and hugs back at ya......ice

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