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Open Poetry #28
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-08-29 10:34 AM



It seemed you whispered
The rain to fall from billows
Low hung on heated sky
And left a lingering breeze
As you passed,
Me, not quite hearing
The words you said
You,
Not quite pausing

Would this front pass
Without a leave of thought
To the swooshing rustle
Love brought with your skirt?

Adorn the memory
With red and gold from trembling
Tenuous leaf
Soon to fall
And pile in disarray
On brown crumble

Speak again
That I might hear
You in pause
Of this wind that blows
Through the empty places
And let it rain

Just one more once


Whisper to me
And let us
Begin

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
1 posted 2003-08-29 10:36 AM


This is great.I love the flow and the imagery here.You pulled me right into your write
Crystal

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2003-08-29 10:40 AM


Ron

"just one more once"  Smiling at this..and how it says it all.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2003-08-29 10:48 AM


Your work is always lyrical but this one has magic in the lines. I feel the summer passing into fall and the wondering if love will ever be found. Lovely poem...
KristieSue
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
4 posted 2003-08-29 10:53 AM


this is very enchanting...nice job

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2003-08-29 10:54 AM


Holy crap you know how to write longing...

"Me, not quite hearing
The words you said
You,
Not quite pausing"

My favorite lines...why?  Because I have had this happen and I have done it....



Susan


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2003-08-29 10:55 AM


Cpat Hair
A delight to read.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-08-29 10:57 AM


this reads like a cool breeze before a summer storm...and makes me wish I had wrote it...awesome write of imagery and emotional intend poet sir.

You're going to hear my voice in the morning calling your name ...
and know my love and my desperation were one and the same.

J.Browne

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2003-08-29 03:34 PM


its storming here now...first rain in 20 days
and breaking the heat wave of triple digits...
see how good you are

When was the last time you felt high
Oh you were the best I've ever felt
Its so wrong not to be with you
Its getting harder to stay away.

SH

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
9 posted 2003-08-30 09:58 PM


And to think that I'd nearly missed this altogether...

Beautiful, Captain...


~Tier

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2003-08-30 09:59 PM


Amazing
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
11 posted 2003-08-30 10:07 PM


Speak again
That I might hear
You in pause
Of this wind that blows
Through the empty places
And let it rain

Just one more once


Whisper to me
And let us
Begin


Capt. Ron, you know that I lve every word that you write...
but this ending here is really special.  
Hugs  
Ethel

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
12 posted 2003-08-30 11:35 PM


sigh, oh sigh sigh sigh.

I've run out of adjectives.


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2003-08-31 12:36 PM


Nice...James
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