navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » sleepless (1slicklady and i)
Open Poetry #28
Post A Reply Post New Topic sleepless (1slicklady and i) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-08-28 08:44 PM


days filled in darkness
where is the light
will it dawn on me?
so tired of disappointments
visitation to
my anticipation

days of sleeplessness
where are my dreams
did I leave them on
the stair steps of reality
as I ran up and down
this painful climb?

awake i lay
until the sutures split
and sun bleeds through
my darkened room

the birds sing a dirge for
another night expired
as red lines
spread across the porcelain
a spider's web

my indicia


[This message has been edited by Aenimal (08-28-2003 08:45 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
1 posted 2003-08-28 09:16 PM


Two of my favorites make a favorite

Loved this, you guys!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2003-08-28 10:07 PM


Raph and Helen:

*smile*
God I adored every bit of this
The both of you write amazingly
together, it flows so rapidly,
so . . . "it just fits"  you know?

I had to pick these out because they are brilliant lines:

visitation to
my anticipation

stair steps (nice play guys)
sutures split (yes)

and this:

the birds sing a dirge for
another night expired
as red lines
spread across the porcelain
a spider's web

I do know this quite well
a perfect stanza
I adore this
A bittersweet melding
brilliant from two of my favorites
xxoo  


[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-28-2003 10:10 PM).]

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2003-08-28 10:50 PM


This is simply awesome. How could it not be? Bravo you two! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul ~
            Emily Dickinson




    

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
4 posted 2003-08-29 12:44 PM


r...smooch !!! h
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2003-08-29 01:37 AM


days of sleeplessness
where are my dreams
did I leave them on
the stair steps of reality
as I ran up and down
this painful climb?

You go, you two!
You compliment each other!



Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2003-08-29 02:17 AM


A wonderful collaboration by two talented poets.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


KristieSue
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
7 posted 2003-08-29 10:49 AM


awesome job you two!  

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
8 posted 2003-08-29 10:52 AM


You two are an awesome pair.
Crystal

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2003-08-29 01:12 PM


BothOfYou~

I knew from the matchup this would be good ... and it exceeded my expectations by a country mile~

Artfully mastered ... beautiful !
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com   

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2003-08-29 01:49 PM


double the talent...double the sadness...


nicely shared

M

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
11 posted 2003-08-30 05:02 AM


thanks for all the kind words and you can look forward to more from helen and i
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
12 posted 2003-08-30 07:01 AM


did I leave them on
the stair steps of reality
as I ran up and down
this painful climb?


oooooh you two are on fiiiiire!

gawd loved this. so clever.

more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
13 posted 2003-08-30 10:02 AM


As I read I forgot two people wrote it..very nicely done!

Susan

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
14 posted 2003-08-30 01:39 PM


"days of sleeplessness
where are my dreams
did I leave them on
the stair steps of reality
as I ran up and down
this painful climb?

awake i lay
until the sutures split
and sun bleeds through
my darkened room"

this is a fantastic collaboration!

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
15 posted 2003-08-30 07:47 PM


An excellent blending of talent from the
both of you.  Nicely done.  Yes,  again,
again.....

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
16 posted 2003-08-30 08:54 PM


you two should be sleepless together more often.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
17 posted 2003-08-31 12:15 PM



Wow....a powerful poem.  You're both held in high regard by me and it's good to see such talented poets come together....and of course I relate to this.  It's a keeper~

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » sleepless (1slicklady and i)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary