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Open Poetry #28
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Balladeer
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0 posted 2003-08-28 07:21 PM


(once again Kit has blessed me by agreeing to join me in a duet. We hope you enjoy....)
.
.
.


He entered through the back door. It was later than he thought!
Somewhere the time flew by him through the rounds of beer they bought.
No reason to get home from work since she would only be
On that same spot there on the couch, eyes glued to her t.v.

There was a time he couldn't wait to get right home to her.
He still smiled at the memories of how great those times were
But somehow all the passion that had filled those days got lost
And summer's fire had given way to winter's bitter frost.

She heard the back door open, and she quickly wiped her eyes,
She glanced toward the clock (although the time was no surprise);
Another night of emptiness - another night of tears
Had come and gone like all the others, filled with doubt and fears.

It seemed so long ago, that this was where he longed to be,
Yet now the only company she had was her t.v.
She didn't want to fight again - she didn't say a peep,
Just laid back on the couch and closed her eyes as if asleep.

He stood there looking down at her with feelings unexplained.
Although the thrill was fading fast her beauty still remained.
She lay there looking so defenseless, so in need of care,
Great sadness overtook him as he watched her lying there.

How could he tell this gentle woman that whatever force
Had caused him to give her his love had sadly run its course?
How could he tell her that whatever life they shared was through?
He didn't know but it was something that he had to do....

She heard him standing over her and sensed his forceful gaze,
So close they were, yet far away, unlike their younger days;
She longed to hear him whisper, "Darling, come on up to bed."
Just like he used to speak to her when they were newly wed.

By now she would have felt his touch, a kiss upon her cheek,
The warmth of his caress that left her simply feeling weak;
Instead, his silence left her with a loss beyond compare,
As thoughts of leaving him became too much for her to bear.

That night he lay in bed, thought whirling through his tired brain.
These thoughts and torments he was going through had him insane.
Each day he felt more distant, felt the distance slowly grow
Until his wife became a woman that he didn't know.

Tomorrow he would take her somewhere for a little drive
And let her know their marriage just had no way to survive.
He knew that it would be a hard, gut-wrenching thing to do
But, by tomorrow evening she would know that they were through.

She cried herself to sleep that night, alone there in the dark,
The couch a symbol of the fact that they had lost their spark;
She woke a dozen times to hear him snoring from above,
While thoughts and dreams devoured her, of how she'd lost his love.

Tomorrow she would tell him they should go their separate ways,
She practiced how she'd say it all, with tired old clichés;
She rose at dawn, unsure of how or when she'd break the news,
But knew the time had come and she had nothing left to lose.

They drove in silence, his eyes staring at the road ahead
With thoughts of how to break it to her racing through his head.
She hadn't said a word all day, her gaze a vacant stare.
He felt, then, that the time was right to end it all right there.

He turned to face her, trying hard to make the words come out
Then saw the shocked look on her face and heard her frantic shout!
He spun his head around to see the semi straight ahead
And his last thought before the impact was that they were dead.

Her thoughts throughout the day had left her lonely and afraid,
The old clichés she'd practiced seemed too trite to be relayed;
She struggled with her words but knew the time at last had come,
She closed her eyes and took a breath, heart beating like a drum.

She felt his hand reach out to her, and opened up her eyes,
She looked ahead to gather strength to break their wedded ties;
But all at once, she saw the semi baring down ahead,
She screamed as her last thoughts were that both he and she were dead.

He woke after who knows how long of dark, nightmarish dreams
Of screeching tires and breaking glass and horrifying screams.
The walls were white as were the bandages from head to toe..
The I.V. bag dripped liquid in a silent, steady flow.

It all came back to him right then - the truck, the crash, the smell,
The burning rubber, searing heat much worse than any hell.
He thought it was amazing that his body still had life
And then reality came back as he screamed, "Where's my wife?!?!?"

The last thing she remembered was that she would surely die,
Then struggled to bring clarity to where she was and why,
The crash, the flames, the twisted metal - flooded through her mind,
As memories of screams and terror played in slow rewind.

She tried to move, but winced in pain and gave a sudden yelp!
As nurses quickly scrambled to her side to offer help;
She looked at them in panic from her bruised and battered face,
Then cried out, "Where's my husband?! Did they bring him to this
place?!"

He got down slowly from the bed, the IV still attached,
His bandages were turning red from cuts that had been patched.
He made it to the hallway, slippered feet on noiseless floor
And started searching for his wife as he went door to door.

"She has to be here somewhere!", he could hear his own voice say.
"She has to be here! God, please let me know that she's ok..."
He opened one last door and felt such joy he almost cried.
His wife lay there unmoving with a doctor by her side.

"He MUST be here! He HAS to be!" She shouted from her bed,
"Why won't you tell me where he is??? Oh God! He isn't dead???"
She screamed and struggled back and forth, ripped tubes and IV's out .
The nurses tried to calm her but she fought with them throughout.

A doctor rushed to help them - he was ready to sedate .
But spoke to her and eased her to a calmer mental state;
"We'll try to find him." He declared, "Just lay there and be still."
She closed her swollen eyes and said a prayer with all her will.

He cautiously approached her, almost too afraid to speak.
He saw the bruises on her face, the small cuts on her cheek.
His eyes went to the doctor, still unsure of what to say.
The doc looked up and smiled and said, “Don’t worry. She’s ok.”

She heard the words and opened eyes to see her husband there,
The worried look upon his face with deep love in his stare.
She reached and took his hand in hers and gave a gentle squeeze
As both together tried to say, “My love, forgive me….please.”

How close they both had come to losing everything they had.
The thought of what they’d almost done made both feel very sad
But that was over – they would get their future back on track.
The crash that almost took their lives had given their lives back.

.


© Copyright 2003 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2003-08-28 07:31 PM


Wow...you both have a way with words separately and together they are so powerful! The story is amazing...without being able to see the screen through my tears I hope I haven't misspelled my words of praise to you both. Simply, utterly beautiful.
Earth Angel
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Realms of Light
2 posted 2003-08-28 07:44 PM


I wish I could give you a prize or something for this outstanding collaboration! It was long--but I wished it was even longer! I kept reading faster and faster!--and I absolutely love happy endings! My tears of sadness for this not uncommon marital scenario, turned to tears of joy!

Fabulous writing, you two!


Linda

Titia Geertman
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since 2001-05-07
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Netherlands
3 posted 2003-08-28 07:56 PM



Beautiful as always Kit and Deer, you two are a great pair of Poets.

Love you both, Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Martie
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California
4 posted 2003-08-28 07:59 PM


Kit and Mike

As always, you write a story with so much heart, so well!  Thank you for this!  I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Larry C
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5 posted 2003-08-28 08:01 PM


Once again, talent times two exceeds the sum of its whole! Nothing changes one's perspective like being on the verge of death...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Paul Wilson
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6 posted 2003-08-28 09:45 PM


Kit & Michael...A wonderful tender hearted story. Just like two peas in a pod, your words and style compliment each other so beautifully. I sure hope we get more like this one...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

timothysangel1973
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Never close enough
7 posted 2003-08-28 10:13 PM


OMG!  You two are AMAZING!
I felt as though I was living inside each of them from the first line.
...This write touched my heart in so many ways, it is very easy to lose something wonderful with silence.  By the middle I was hooked and because it is storming here, I was praying that the power didn't go out so I wouldn't miss the rest...
By the end, I was in tears and loving the talent behind each of the pens that wrote such and amazing story of love!

  

You two are WONDERFUL!

)))hugs(((
Tima

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2003-08-28 10:18 PM


*shaking me mothy head and smiling at you two*

In the history of duets, never will 2 poets compliment one another so well...both of yours gifts of cadenced story telling comes together with poetic perfection in this outstanding collaboration.

You carried your theme of this perfectly to the end and kept true the perspective of allowing us to see it thru both characters eyes.

I am dying to know...when you wrote this, did you dicuss its direction before hand -- did you have this theme and ending in mind, or did it unfold as you sent your verses back in forth?

chalk it up to moth curiosity...
then add my immense admiration of your talents.

Kitgatorgirlie
so very good to see you here again...

and even better to watch you guys do a poetic two step.

Superb write Michael and Kit

You're going to hear my voice in the morning calling your name ...
and know my love and my desperation were one and the same.

J.Browne

littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2003-08-28 10:21 PM


Michael and Kit:

this made me cry . . .
it is beautiful
It makes one grateful for what they
have and sorrow for what they had missed

ONE single second is truly all it takes
to change a life . . .
this is brilliant
xxoo

Nightshade
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just out of reach
10 posted 2003-08-28 10:55 PM


Oh .. my....goodness! There should have been a hanky warning with this beautiful duet. What a wonderful story the two of you have told. Thankyou for pairing your awesome talents. hugs, Chris
Balladeer
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11 posted 2003-08-28 10:56 PM


Poet Devine...you misspelled nothing! Thank you for your kindness..

Earth Angel...your reponse is prize enough..thank you!!

Titia...Is a pair of poets a parrot??? Thank you, Dutchie..

Martie...Kit makes it look easy! Glad you like us...

Larry C..very true words you utter there...changes the perspective, doesn't it, my friend? Thank you!

Paul....I hope so, too. Writing with Kit is pure pleasure for me...thank you for responding..

Timothysangel..What a nice comment! I'm very glad you enjoyed it so much and I know Kit feels the same way...thank you!

JM...to tell you the truth, I'm a little unfair in our duets. I know where it's going but I don't tell Kit..hehe (it's the sadist in me!) I just send her my stanzas without telling her which way to go and...guess what? She doesn't miss a step! It's as if she knows exactly where I'm headed and she's right there with me....she amazes me every time I receive her stanzas, like she's reading my mind. That really makes it fun....thank you, mothy miss

littlewing..yes, you are right - one second, one event, one twist of fate can make such a huge difference in a life. God (or fate) does indeed work in mysterious ways.Our thanks!!

Balladeer
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12 posted 2003-08-28 11:01 PM


Nightshade....thank you, Chris! Yanks and Canucks can do some good things together I appreciate your coming by!
bslicker
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state of mind
13 posted 2003-08-29 12:37 PM


Balladeer and Kit
There is no words to explain this beautiful piece of writing the two of you have brought to our eyes. And how true that sometimes it's still there, and puts itself back on track.
This goes to library

bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

Rosebud1229
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North Carolina
14 posted 2003-08-29 12:57 PM


beautiful, somehow it's ironic when tragedy comes then love finally comes to the surface great writing from both of you,
from beginning to end.

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

15 posted 2003-08-29 02:32 AM


Ahhh I knew I was in for a treat when I saw a collaboration by you both and I knew I was going to need tissues.

A very touch write from you you both... absolutely Wow!

Keeping it.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


Kit McCallum
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16 posted 2003-08-29 06:28 AM


Thank you so much for all of your wonderful comments everyone.  It is always such a delightful experience for me to write with Michael.  Waiting for his next stanza's to come back and see what direction he's taken the story, is a thrill I will always treasure.  

It’s also extra special for me when I see the actual post for the first time, because traditionally, this is the first time I get to read the title and the ending Michael's written.  It's always a surprise for me, lol!

Thanks again for all the kind words and encouragement everyone. It sure feels good to be “on the boards” and posting again!

Thank you Michael, for bringing me an endless supply of smiles this past week … I enjoyed this tremendously sweet poet!

With much appreciation to all,
/Kit

Sunshine
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17 posted 2003-08-29 06:48 AM



What a joy to read a collaboration by the two of you again.  Even if you made me cry!  I know you both have busy schedules, but when you can?  Duet again!

Toerag
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Ala bam a
18 posted 2003-08-29 07:27 AM


Dear Kit and Deer...Fantastic job.....but who'da expected less?..
Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
19 posted 2003-08-29 07:45 AM


Mike and KIt have lit my fantasy again
To a special world of the when and then.
To me this is an epopee.
A very special fantasy.

Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
20 posted 2003-08-29 07:51 AM


Wow, what a great write, both of you.. A story of sorts

Bravo!

El_Campeador
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Ohio, USA
21 posted 2003-08-29 08:07 AM


This is such a beautiful, lovely poem. Thank you for touching my heart today...

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
22 posted 2003-08-29 11:21 AM


so wonderfully done, Kit and Michael...

It is always a pleasure to read both of you as your words and thoughts flow so easily...  in perfect sync...

*s
M

angelblueyes
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23 posted 2003-08-29 11:29 AM


This is absolutely wonderful. You both bring such heart and soul to this that it just screams more more.You two are a brilliant pair.
Crystal

SharaRose
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Somewhere out there~
24 posted 2003-08-29 11:38 AM



SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Marge Tindal
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25 posted 2003-08-29 01:05 PM



Always a joy to read you both~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com   

Lisann
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since 2001-01-31
Posts 350

26 posted 2003-08-29 02:54 PM


I love whent he two of you get together.......you are both great poets when you write separately.....but when you get together.....damn....great job.
vlraynes
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Somewhere... out there...
27 posted 2003-08-29 03:07 PM



Kit & 'Deer...this, and both of you, are amazing.
No one tells a story like the two of you.

Love and hugs to you both,

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Munda
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The Hague, The Netherlands
28 posted 2003-08-29 04:06 PM


Awesome poem you two!
Bonnie j
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29 posted 2003-08-29 05:15 PM


I absolutely loved this, will save. Tears streaming down my face as I read.
Love Bon-Bon Bravo.

SmartChick
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since 2001-09-23
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On A Journey To The Unknown
30 posted 2003-08-29 09:22 PM


I have been watching and waiting to read something from the both of you again. You two are just wonderful.
Kit McCallum
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31 posted 2003-08-30 07:28 AM


Thanks so much for all the wonderful comments and encouragement everyone!  We had a great time writing this one and really appreciate your kind words.

Much appreciation to all,
/Kit

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
32 posted 2003-08-30 09:56 AM



Back for another read,
and a gentle tuck into my library...

kayjay
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Oregon
33 posted 2003-08-30 11:49 AM


Like masters of the stage you phrase
your words as from immortal plays.
This story unfolds in homes each day
as couples think "What went astray?"
The scenes slip by with breath held tight
with hope that all turns out alright.
You pleasure us with weave of plot
So did I like it? YES!! A lot!

Wonderful writing.  Ken J

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Local Rebel
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since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
34 posted 2003-08-30 05:34 PM


very mysterious indeed... seen it work both ways many times...

nicely coloured pens here..in interesting phenomenon entertainingly presented.

Kethry
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since 2000-07-29
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Victoria Australia
35 posted 2003-08-30 07:42 PM


Superb! When you two write I'm sure angels stand in awe and weep...I know I do.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Mistletoe Angel
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36 posted 2003-08-30 07:51 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Kit and Michael, this is sooooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I was flooding in tears throughout the poem, in sadness most of the way through and it truly left a lump in my throat so big I almost choked when I envisioned the lover caressing his face! (wipes tears) God Bless You Both, sweet friends, I love your wonderful duets, we all love you both so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Micael and Kit, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you both!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Honeybee
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since 1999-12-26
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Ontario, CANADA
37 posted 2003-08-31 12:23 PM


M'dear & Kit:

A wonderfully crafted poem with a beautiful message.  I only wish that someday I can write with such pinache, intelligence and tenderness and you two, but for now I'll just admire your talent.

And I agree with JM, in the history of duets at passions, you two are the finest.

This is a keeper~

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Mysteria
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38 posted 2003-08-31 12:50 PM


Ahah!  I am getting wise to you both now, and knew there would be a happy ending to this one, wish I could say the same for a similar night in my life, that ended part way through your poem.  Now I don't have to tell you both how good you are, but I can say that this was one hell of a good story, and it was so well "da-dummed" hardly even seemed to stop.  Hmmm, maybe that is what it's supposed to do and if it is well you two are the BESTEST!
JamesMichael
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Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
39 posted 2003-08-31 12:56 PM


Nice writing...the sadest part is that both had to nearly died before they could learn to appreciate each other...James
SEA
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with you
40 posted 2003-08-31 01:50 AM


you two...are absolutely fantastic....and when you write together, it's unbelieveable!!! another outstanding duet for my library
Skyfyre
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since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
41 posted 2003-08-31 01:58 AM


Heh.  Epiphanies are not always pleasant occurrances, are they?

A nearly flawless duet.  My compliments.

Nan
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42 posted 2003-08-31 09:28 AM


My dearest friends... You make me proud to say that - Your mutual work NEVER EVER disappoints me - You outdo yourselves each and every time... You're both the most awesomest!!!...
Susan Caldwell
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Florida
43 posted 2003-08-31 01:12 PM


This was incredible.

Susan

suthern
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44 posted 2003-08-31 06:17 PM


Toe told me you'd posted a duet... now 750 miles later, I finally get to read it! *G* And it's every bit as fantastic as I'd anticipated it being... the two of you collaborate beautifully and seamlessly... and tell a wonderful tale. *S*
Kit McCallum
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Ontario, Canada
45 posted 2003-09-01 07:37 AM


Thank you all again for the wonderful responses everyone!  

Michael ... thanks so much for inviting me to duet. This was such a wonderful experience as always, sweet poet.

With much appreciation to all,
/Kit

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
46 posted 2003-09-02 09:23 PM


Ah...when two of Passion's best poets are paired together, great things are bound to happen and this is no exception. You both compliment each other so well in your writing.
BRAVO!!!!

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
47 posted 2003-09-04 01:16 PM


I've read and reread this with such pleasure.  There are so many life lessons in it.  Well done to both of you.  Ken J

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

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