How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #28 Archive
 Biology
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Biology

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Eromyna
Member
since 11-29-2002
Posts 310
Pheonix, AZ, USA


0 posted 08-27-2003 02:23 PM       View Profile for Eromyna   Email Eromyna   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Eromyna


Body is the image
is the object
is the cage

Spirit is the fire
is the fuel
it is the rage

Soul is the surreal
the intangible
profane

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

© Copyright 2003 Shay D. - All Rights Reserved
wandering glider
Senior Member
since 04-04-2001
Posts 504
aloft


1 posted 08-27-2003 02:45 PM       View Profile for wandering glider   Email wandering glider   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wandering glider

Oh, I like this,
or . . .
if you don't mind another point of view, the last verse could be:

Soul is the real
the tangible
sustained


w.g.
eminor_angel
Member
since 05-22-2003
Posts 327
Canada


2 posted 08-27-2003 04:25 PM       View Profile for eminor_angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for eminor_angel

you have such consistent structure in the first two stanzas that it's kind of jarring when you break it in the third ei. no "it is" and the last line doesn't rhyme with the other two last lines of each stanza.

Nice read though.
Eromyna
Member
since 11-29-2002
Posts 310
Pheonix, AZ, USA


3 posted 08-28-2003 01:33 PM       View Profile for Eromyna   Email Eromyna   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eromyna

Interesting change of perspective. Thanks for mentioning it.

As far as the structure changing, I can probably work on that. This one just sorta spilled out this way.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-07-2003
Posts 3888
where the wild flowers grow


4 posted 08-29-2003 08:46 AM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

I like this..a lot.

*bumpity bump*
KristieSue
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 01-31-2003
Posts 1555
PA, US


5 posted 08-29-2003 08:55 AM       View Profile for KristieSue   Email KristieSue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit KristieSue's Home Page   View IP for KristieSue

ditto.  I like this too :-)

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


6 posted 08-29-2003 09:04 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Eromyna
Enjoyed the reads.
TexUS
Member
since 03-20-2003
Posts 228


7 posted 08-07-2004 04:42 PM       View Profile for TexUS   Email TexUS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TexUS

Much said in this---Awesome read-thanks!
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #28 >> Biology Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors