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Open Poetry #28
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littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York

0 posted 2003-08-27 12:50 PM



Within this gentle exploration
a touching as tentative as a touching can be
and still be.....tactile
is the certain knowledge that love can leave one
as sensitive as a fresh burn

A stifled moan gave rise
to thoughts of wounds freshly healed
and bandaged by this kiss
beneath spools of two meshed as one
a criss-crossing of hopes and fears
a faint red spot to mark the place
where paths have met…..lingered

as substantial in its subtlety
as the taste of ones' own name
whispered pleading into ones' own mouth

Upon such wounds, this kiss doth lie
to satiate ancestral cries  
from brush of burn by hands of silk
unraveled with ease, unleashing hurt,
as profound in its reality
as a single hair
drawn long along the curve of lip

I sigh....

A grit of teeth lip curl with eyes
shine pleasure, shine pain
from x to y
coordination's neatly placed
a union brushed, from hand to face
from face to breath
and breath to breast

The journey from what we've done
to what it's made us
is as long as the one traveled
by the tear…..cried in vain

cotton infancy wrapped thus tight
falls in pools onto the floor
melting, melding with the night

[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-27-2003 12:54 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved
Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
1 posted 2003-08-27 12:53 PM


"A grit of teeth lip curl with eyes
shine pleasure, shine pain
from x to y
coordination's neatly placed
a union brushed, from hand to face
from face to breath
and breath to breast

The journey from what we've done
to what it's made us
is as long as the one traveled
by the tear…..cried in vain"

I love this..

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
2 posted 2003-08-27 01:30 AM


I be back...
need to read again

so tired now

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2003-08-27 01:49 AM


And two become one....absolutely wonderful... both of you.


keeping it.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2003-08-27 02:05 AM


That first verse?

smile.

I can say this to you two and you will understand--but I actually pictured humans sniffing each other...

and then you took the rest beyond the animalistic--lovely exploration--surprise and revelations.

stunning.

just stunning.

smile.

There IS something to be said for doing things slow....

I applaud.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-08-27 03:57 AM


awesome!
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

6 posted 2003-08-27 07:19 AM


literally you...how great thou art!  Very much enjoyed, thank you so much for this glorious song....you are a wonder little girl and it's a pleasure reading you...hugs....Lee J.
timothysangel1973
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Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
7 posted 2003-08-27 07:54 AM




Yet another score by our Little Winged friend...with help from Wranx!

You guys are great!  This was AWESOME

Tima

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2003-08-27 08:02 AM


littlewing
Excellent to the both of you.

mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

9 posted 2003-08-27 08:41 AM


Don't even need to read it, I know it's good. But I'll be back, no time now. Nice

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

10 posted 2003-08-27 10:10 AM


Ok lw and wranx, after reading a few times. You both have combined your styles very well. Sort of like Mantle and Maris. lw, unless you are a baseball nut. You wouldn't know what I'm talking about. But wranx would. Nice job, nice write. Like to see more of this.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Nightshade
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since 2001-08-31
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just out of reach
11 posted 2003-08-27 11:48 AM


Bravo! This is superb and going directly into my library! Bravo! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul ~
            Emily Dickinson




    

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
12 posted 2003-08-27 01:01 PM


Thank you so much Meg . . .

Bri lol . . . you better be back!
thank you

Maree - from you - I am honored thank you

Thank you K, that first verse was Ed -
*smile* - bowing gracefully - Ijust followed like a puppy  LMAO I just saw your sniffing comment

Thank you Dixie!

Lee - wow thank you so much, twas Ed that did the leading but thank you so much!

Tima thank you so much . . . umm it may be the other way around there . . . * smile*

Sy - thank you so much means a lot to me

poe your first response was compliment enough . . . the second was amazing and yes, I do know who Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris are.
Thank you!  


Thank you so much Chris!

Thank you everyone, this was a wonderful adventure and Ed did most of it anyhow,
I just yip-yapped and he made sense of my words (true, not kidding)

Ed, thank you so much, I was most honored to write with you again . . . always an
adventure much enjoyed

Thank you everyone
xxoo  


[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-27-2003 05:19 PM).]

Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
13 posted 2003-08-27 03:20 PM


Each of you writes with a unique beauty....when the two are melded, the best of each shines through. I hope you two do this again!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2003-08-27 04:27 PM


Wonderfully done...A song in harmony!
Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
15 posted 2003-08-27 04:35 PM


A great write by two of my favorites, nice job guys.

Jason

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
16 posted 2003-08-27 04:42 PM


two masters join as one wonderfully...helen
garysgirl
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Florida, USA
17 posted 2003-08-27 04:45 PM


Sue and Ed...so much came to my mind while I was reading this the three times that I did. I can't even say here some of those things...I will say that they were along the same lines as what Karen said. I just don't know how to say them the way she did.

It was beautiful beyond words to me. I would love to see more romance written by you two as a duet.

Of cours, this hopeless romantic is keeping this, so I can read it many more times. LOL
Hugs to you both  
Ethel

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
18 posted 2003-08-27 05:23 PM


Ed - thank you so , coming from you this means a lot

Thank you Marti! A song, how lovely, yes

Jason and a thank you to one of mine right back . . .

Helen, Goodness Masters? Oh My - *shrugging off compliment lol*  You, m'lady are the master - thank you

Ethel - huge smile . . . I know and if you liked it, then we have succeeded - thank you so much

Thanks guys
xxoo


vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
19 posted 2003-08-27 07:14 PM



Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
20 posted 2003-08-27 09:07 PM


I'm soooooo UNWORTHY

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (08-27-2003 09:08 PM).]

D'sWhisper
Member
since 2003-06-16
Posts 68
Washington, USA
21 posted 2003-08-27 09:45 PM


Oh this is Wonderful!
Aboslutely wonderful!
You guyz have textured this so well.
The meter is great...it just flows like wind through a mountain peak...just that naturally. The metaphors are thickly laquered on every notion...but never too much? Everything is just...meant to be where it is. That...is special.
I loved this.

~Whisper~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
22 posted 2003-08-27 09:48 PM



Well...this took my breath away...
so duet again
that I won't turn blue...

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
23 posted 2003-08-27 09:49 PM


Little Wing & Wranx, this is truly awesome and then some.

...and my favorite line?

All...


*hugs*

~Tiers

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
24 posted 2003-08-27 09:58 PM


The journey from what we've done
to what it's made us
is as long as the one traveled
by the tear…..cried in vain

cotton infancy wrapped thus tight
falls in pools onto the floor
melting, melding with the night


harmony....
I love this you guys
and you two
do
that last line
uh-huh


angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
25 posted 2003-08-27 11:12 PM


I love this.You two are an awesome pair It brings such life to your words united as one
Crystal

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
26 posted 2003-08-28 02:08 AM


Seemless and beautiful pairing
JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
27 posted 2003-08-28 04:48 AM


Enjoyed...James
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
28 posted 2003-08-28 10:18 AM


Thank you Vandana!

Kris you silly thing, stop that
Hey! you owe me one of a write you know
thank you so much

Whisper - thisis the most beautiful reply
Thank you so much!  Yes, you have much insight indeed

Karilea - ahahaha . . . thank you so much
*smile* I do value your thoughts highly

Tier, from a poetess as fine as yourself
I am honored that you like - thank you

Bri?  *smile* yes . . . thank you

Thank you Crystal!  One reason I love to duet, you learn so much from each other

Raphael . . . such a beautiful compliment from you, it does mean a lot to me
*smile*
thank you

Thank you James!

thanks guys
xxoo

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
29 posted 2003-08-29 02:20 AM


Thanks friends...for taking the time to read this. And for all of the kindneses that you've left here.

Writing with Susie is a treat. I like the way she can say in 3 words, what takes me a paragraph.

Thank you, Miss littlewing for being so patient with one that works as slow as I.


KristieSue
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
30 posted 2003-08-29 10:47 AM


*sigh* yeah...slow...love it

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
31 posted 2003-08-29 06:13 PM


Thank you Kristie
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
32 posted 2003-08-30 01:13 PM


In reading this again (anew), it pleases me still.

I'm going to give it a nudge back to the top. Hope you don't mind.

Thanks to all that have read!


Ed

Midnitesun
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Gaia
33 posted 2003-08-30 01:19 PM


OMG! this is exquisite!
I can't begin to describe how this one touches me, except to tell you both it is my favorite of all the duets I've read here. No lie, no tease in this reply.
I'm keeping it, and if you don't mind, I'll print a copy for my 'hard copy' favorites binder.
Lovin the feel and the flow of this.

jade dragoness
Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 76

34 posted 2003-08-30 03:10 PM


as substantial in its subtlety
as the taste of ones' own name
whispered pleading into ones' own mouth


***
insightful good write

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
35 posted 2003-08-30 04:38 PM


Ah...the blending of two poets. Well done. This is magical! I think MORE is a good word to describe it!!
Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
36 posted 2003-08-30 07:56 PM




(smiles) Oh Sue and Wanx, this is beautiful, sweet friend, we all need to wear these bandages when comes the injuries, as then we truly gain the ability to feel, rather than using those antibiotics! (big hugggssssss) God Bless You, sweet friends, this is lovely, we all love you so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Sue and Wranx, thank you both for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you both!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
37 posted 2003-08-30 08:22 PM


Oh My! That was...nice. Do it again!
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



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