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Open Poetry #28
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SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts

0 posted 2003-08-26 12:53 PM


Faith?
Are you there?
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Can you feel my pain?

This is where I am,
and this is how I came
I Cry my Tear Drops Silently
Letting The Wet Balls Drop To the Ground

I Seem To Have Forgetten Where I started Out
I Whisper to no one
I Shiver in the dark
I'm Alone in a crowded room

I Light candles without a spark
I Shower myself with no water at all
I Laugh with no joy
I am shy with a friend

It feels like my life will never end
Life is so confusing
Time goes by so slow
I want to look up and see
Where I’m going to go

I wish I could talk to the angels
So they could let me know
That I’m going to heaven
I Wish it was for sure

To bad I can't look under
And see there is a hell
Talk to the devil
Make sure peoples beliefs are real

How can I have you, faith, in something
I can’t see and hear?
So faith can you let me know?
Drop a note or two?

Let me know that you are here
And can see inside my soul
Because faith, I need to have you,
And that isn't a selfish want,
Its something that I truly need,
So can I have some of you,faith,let me know.



Life is to precious to take away from yourself, but what if it's one of those presents that you want put back on the shelf in exchange for something e


© Copyright 2003 Sara Connolly - All Rights Reserved
RomanticPoet
Junior Member
since 2003-08-25
Posts 34
Florida USA
1 posted 2003-08-26 01:01 AM


Content of the poem is wonderful; emotions conveyed excellently; to improve the work I would space a line every 4-5 lines to give the reader a break; such a long poem is hard to read without breaks. Otherwise I love it, have you written any lighter-hearted writing? I would love to see your gift turned towards an uplifting subject. Just a suggestion.

American by God's Grace, Patriot and Veteran by Choice!!!!!!!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-08-26 02:37 AM


hmmm...
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