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Passions in Poetry

In Hopes Of A Response

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Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 02-19-2003
Posts 618
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada


0 posted 08-25-2003 09:39 PM       View Profile for Tequilia_Sunrise   Email Tequilia_Sunrise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Tequilia_Sunrise



In the destiny of our hearts,
In the depths of our souls.

In the spirit of our name,
In which our love beholds.

Love is a trace in a pattern unknown,
Love is also a mission in which has grown.

A mission to find happiness and to find something in eachother,
Is the best thing we can do to have faith in one another.

Kiss me once, Kiss me again,
Kiss me one more time and we might of created a sin.

Nothing we can do can change the past experiences of our relationships and
our hearts to mend,
Giving trust, friendship, respect, honesty, faith, and love are the only
messages I can send!!!

© Copyright 2003 Amanda Seymour - All Rights Reserved
icebox
Member Elite
since 05-03-2003
Posts 4246
in the shadows


1 posted 08-25-2003 09:43 PM       View Profile for icebox   Email icebox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for icebox

This has a simple purity of spirit which is very touching.  Thank you for sharing it.
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


2 posted 08-25-2003 09:49 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

Tequila a little critique? I always feel mean critiquing and despite the fact people ask for them rarely does anybody get them. so here goes. I like you're work and i think you can really be great if you tighten up your poetry a little. By tightening I mean watch lines that may seem redundant or say what you  mean in more concise lines. Look up wranx 1slicklady and Dark Angel for conscise free verse and Local Parasite and Child of the Stars for metered.
Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 02-19-2003
Posts 618
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada


3 posted 07-05-2004 02:40 AM       View Profile for Tequilia_Sunrise   Email Tequilia_Sunrise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tequilia_Sunrise

thankx everyone for your lovely comments
 
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