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Open Poetry #28
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littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York

0 posted 2003-08-24 03:58 PM



From the look in your eyes
I see the hurt beneath your smile
Mask of pride, you hide the pain
like a treasure in a golden locket
much alive, yet forgotten

Dead to all who seek, yourself
Alive to none
Most of all your heart, this chamber
rattles rusty bones
The cemetary drones

listen . . .
  
The ghosts of the past are calling
Can you hear their plaintive cry?
Moaning, morning the loss
You feel so deep inside
that smile

Take my hand, I lend to thee
freely walk this path of disease
I hear the beating, not unlike my own
laden lying like a stone
undigested

Feeeel it . . .

You are not doomed
To wander through the Darkness
Alone, deprived of Light
Stale air stealing life from your soul
empty

Break through this fog which binds you
And breathe . . .
You will find me there, waiting

[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-24-2003 04:04 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2003-08-24 04:13 PM


Break through this fog which binds you
And breathe . . .
You will find me there, waiting


~ I love happy endings!

You du-et very well!


EA

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2003-08-24 05:05 PM


A mysterious duet,  complimented well.
great job to you both.

Brigid WillowKeeper
Member
since 2003-08-24
Posts 88
OHIO IN USA
3 posted 2003-08-24 05:12 PM


That is very good. The beginning seems to be a tad average for darker poems, the then it really goes into it. Great job!
Ringo
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
4 posted 2003-08-24 06:43 PM


I would like to thank littlewing publicly for being such an inspiring partner and for making this such a fun task.

We are all equal but we’re individually different
and able to reach the impossible if we try.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
5 posted 2003-08-24 07:36 PM


Sue,when is it my turn!? lol...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (08-24-2003 08:14 PM).]

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
6 posted 2003-08-24 08:10 PM


Very well done!!!!
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
7 posted 2003-08-24 08:18 PM



Feeeel it . . .

if only some could
nice work both of you, couldnt tell the
batter from the pitcher, well something like that......it just flowed as one voice, really good

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
8 posted 2003-08-24 10:16 PM


Bravo you two! Well done! hugs, Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul ~
            Emily Dickinson




    

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2003-08-24 10:37 PM


nice flow and rhythm
two silhouettes dancing, in blue notes

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
10 posted 2003-08-24 10:43 PM


Linda lol on the wordplay there
thank you

Thank you Barry, coming from you that means a lot to me

Brigid - thank you, wasnt meant to be dark, just writing . . . welcome

Brad, I must say . . . this was a fun write and you are such a pleasure to write with.  Thank you for this and for always nudging me along with my writing

Kris, buzz me . . . *smile*  oooh what would we write about?

icey . .  wow - thank you so much!

Thank you Michele, was a write that flowed nicely . . .

Thank you so much Chris

Kacy, yes, exactly . . . reading my mind, get outta there, it's scary . . . thank you

Thanks guys
xxoo    

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
11 posted 2003-08-24 10:51 PM


Nice to have someone on the other side,
who is waiting for you......

Kudos you two~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
12 posted 2003-08-24 10:55 PM


nice write you two
El_Campeador
Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761
Ohio, USA
13 posted 2003-08-25 08:00 AM


Wow! This is really good. Another excellent duet to put in the library...

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
14 posted 2003-08-25 08:58 AM


What a beautiful duet, by two wonderful writers.
As always, I have a chosen line...

"The ghosts of the past are calling
Can you hear their plaintive cry?
Moaning, morning the loss
You feel so deep inside
that smile"

...Did the two of you peek into my soul when I wasn't looking?

This deserves a bump!

Great Job


Tima

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
15 posted 2003-08-25 09:08 AM


littlewing - excellent duet you two...

BC

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
16 posted 2003-08-25 09:29 AM


You are not doomed
To wander through the Darkness
Alone, deprived of Light
Stale air stealing life from your soul
empty

Break through this fog which binds you
And breathe . . .
You will find me there, waiting

Wow, you two...what a duet! A great read for me this morning.

Patricia

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
17 posted 2003-08-25 09:39 AM


Bluesy . . . we all do and thank you
tweets

Thank you Raph, where've ya been, man?
Miss you here

Ben, thank you so much

Tima, that was Brad peeking in lol
(his lines) thank you  - thanks for the bump!

Thank you Bill, *smile*

Thanks Patricia lol
Brad's lines again)

ahahah you see Brad?
*smile*

thanks guys
xxoo


Ringo
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
18 posted 2003-08-25 11:45 AM


Just popping in to mirror Sue's thanks and to clear up a few things... Yes, the first set were my words, although, Patricia, Sue did some major editing to the lines you enjoyed. I cannot take the credit for both of us working on that.
Thanks again.

We are all equal but we’re individually different
and able to reach the impossible if we try.

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
19 posted 2003-08-25 12:08 PM


The worst kind of disease.. feeling alone. When the fog clears being there is the easy part..it's getting the fog to clear for them to start that's the real work. All the best with your friend, or relative you are trying to get the breakthrough with. They are worth it all!!!!!!!! I know how you feel. Best of luck with this. They are a shining star if they would only realize it inside! Keep up the great work encouraging them!!! If only they saw themselves the way we see them!!!

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
20 posted 2003-08-25 12:13 PM


This was wonderful.Two voices united as one to speak the words from within.You two make a great writing pair.
Crystal

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
21 posted 2003-08-25 10:41 PM


Brad is lying . . .

Thank you Shara and yes, alone and lonely
truly are the worst

Thanks angel, you always have the sweetest things to say to me/us hehe

Thanks guys
xxoo

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