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Open Poetry #28
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2003-08-24 01:36 AM


Just a chance with your breath-filled space unbroken--
All it would have taken to win me
Was a few burning moments alone
With the ascending melody of each sounding mist.
I am unable to conceive
Of such a stage of elation,
Should you have called me in,
Even if for a moment’s endurance...

I can tell--you knew the oceans would be rendered silent;
The clouds would have had nothing on the fruit of those minutes...


Just a risk of my pride for your unchecked blaze--
All that was required for the pleasure of such enticement
Was a temporary disregard of myself
And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon.
I’ll never fully comprehend
The potential of your eyes in mine,
Should I have let go,
Just for a few fleeting seconds...

-kh '03

**to a moth who shall remain nameless:  OK??  you can stop demanding now......  

just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday...

© Copyright 2003 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-08-24 03:13 AM


hey sp...those moths are persistant, ain't they?

and I for one am SO glad.

These boards have been doing without your words long enough.

I know I don't say it often enough, but you do write with such a lovely style of grace and intelligence, and a certain vulnerability that is simply irrestible.

Thanks for this touch of lovely, and thank that nameless moth too, will ya?

to both of you.

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2003-08-24 05:56 AM


I think this is an exquisite work of art, moth or no moth!!!! Quite a lovely read, and makes me wonder how many experiences we miss in life, because we don't allow them to happen......~S~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart  ~~S~~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2003-08-24 06:54 AM


Just a chance with your breath-filled space unbroken--
============================

I can tell--you knew the oceans would be
rendered silent;
The clouds would have had nothing on the fruit of those minutes...

Just a risk of my pride for your unchecked blaze--
All that was required for the pleasure of such enticement
Was a temporary disregard of myself
And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon.
I’ll never fully comprehend
The potential of your eyes in mine,
Should I have let go,
Just for a few fleeting seconds...

==============================


well, well, well, lookie what I found...
A post by ole frosty britches
And I only had to ask(demand?) once
Well what ever it takes...and KA is right..she captures the true essence and beauty of your words--she just says it so much more lovely than I do,

Have I mentioned I just love it when you use big words.  


love this line...


And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon.


Well you know the moth loves getting her way, so thanks for indulging me with a post.

Now about these lines...

I can tell--you knew the oceans would be
rendered silent;
The clouds would have had nothing on the fruit of those minutes...



you aint neva lied heh

So...I can expect one of these again tonite?
one all week? Honey child--you dont KNOW demanding yet  

You're going to hear my voice in the morning calling your name ...
and know my love and my desperation were one and the same.

J.Browne


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (08-24-2003 06:56 AM).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2003-08-24 09:22 AM


Hmmm... nameless moths?  We have those around here??  Nicely penned, snowpants...
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-08-24 10:31 AM



Welcome home, Kris.  And welcome to Kansas!

[Sun thanks one mothy gal for her persistence...]

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2003-08-24 10:45 AM


"Just a risk of my pride for your unchecked blaze--
All that was required for the pleasure of such enticement
Was a temporary disregard of myself
And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon.
I’ll never fully comprehend
The potential of your eyes in mine,
Should I have let go,
Just for a few fleeting seconds..."

I LOVE this verse Kris!!  And know the feeling...so well.  Darn moths...can't live with 'em, can't swat 'em.  

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
7 posted 2003-08-24 11:19 AM


serenity:  why thank you for that...I am quite flattered...irresistible, huh?  that's quite a compliment...I do appreciate it...thank you!!

Sunnyone:  thank you very much...yes, you are right...pride, or just plain fear keeps us from a lot of experiences, doesn't it?  glad you enjoyed...

J:  LMAO...you ain't neva lied.....and, um, hey yo, insatiable--tonight??  now you're really pushing it       but, as always, thanks for the encouragement you never cease to give me with my writing...you ain't neva lied   and, big words, huh??  hmmm...I'll have to remember that...hehe

Nan:  yeah, I've found out the hard way...thanks Nan...glad you liked it...

Sunshine:  why thank you...I am quite enjoying the change of pace here...during the day, that is...at night, you get foxes running in front of your car...ack

Duncan:  LMAO...can't swat 'em...I couldn't have said it better myself...OOH, did I say that out loud...HI JM...hahaha  thanks Duncan...glad you liked it...

sp


just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday...

[This message has been edited by snowpants (08-24-2003 11:30 AM).]

Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
8 posted 2003-08-24 12:13 PM


"Just a chance ..."

Ohhhhh this spoke volumes to me for I have wished this oh so many times.

Keeper here!

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2003-08-24 11:16 PM


snowpants....It is so good to see you posting after so long...this is a beautiful piece of your heart!
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2003-08-24 11:20 PM


quote:
Just a risk of my pride for your unchecked blaze--
All that was required for the pleasure of such enticement
Was a temporary disregard of myself
And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon.


Outstanding. Love the cadence, the soft  emotional glow of this piece.

Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
11 posted 2003-11-17 06:37 AM


"All it would have taken to win me
Was a few burning moments alone
With the ascending melody of each sounding mist."

sp, beautiful words, so touching. I have missed reading your work. Its good to be back in the blue.
I am so glad that moth can be demanding.

Dee

Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are.        Clearwater

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