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Open Poetry #28
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2003-08-22 12:23 PM


Will there be time to intrude among the geese
walk into their purpose
as their eyes slant towards us
and they make freeway noises

Time for the crowd of them to part
and leave us to the grass
and the slanted trees
dodging the droppings
and listening to the music
of boys with their holler
arms waving like feathers

The minutes
I can't hear them
they are so fast
down the dirt path
they are running past the lovers
not stopping to watch
the lean against tree
no time to stay
to see the way the bodies fit
or the melting of eyes into the soul of it

fast fast then gone
and on the freeway that is life
this is our song

[This message has been edited by Martie (08-22-2003 12:32 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
1 posted 2003-08-22 12:36 PM


Very touching imagery.  Thank you for sharing this.
Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
2 posted 2003-08-22 12:45 PM


Wonderful writing!
Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2003-08-22 01:12 AM


"The minutes
I can't hear them
they are so fast
down the dirt path
they are running past the lovers"

Love the way you catch this, time running past like a stream of joggers...so visual I can just see 'em pumping along. The pace of this whole poem resonates with it, quietly frantic but gentle and knowing at the same time. Beautiful stuff.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2003-08-22 02:39 AM


The minutes
I can't hear them
they are so fast
down the dirt path
they are running past the lovers
not stopping to watch
the lean against tree
no time to stay

You're no face in the crowd Martie~
Once again you stand out, brilliantly~


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-08-22 06:40 AM


Smiling, Martie...
you paint a point in time so well...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-08-22 08:15 AM


The minutes
I can't hear them
they are so fast
down the dirt path
they are running past the lovers
not stopping to watch
the lean against tree
no time to stay
to see the way the bodies fit
or the melting of eyes into the soul of it
================================

You turn time into poetry in motion...
and that my dear poetess....
is a very very cool thing

You're going to hear my voice in the morning calling your name ...
and know my love and my desperation were one and the same.

JB

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2003-08-22 08:18 AM



Superb!, my dear
Absolutely superb!

Take care
Liz

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2003-08-22 08:19 AM


Martie
Excellent write, enjoyed Hugs

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
9 posted 2003-08-22 08:22 AM


Ah, Martie.....just loving this one!  This is Canadian goose season in the UK, and you have to look up when they fly over!! LOL!!  Across the street is a park where they show off their little goslings, so we can walk among them!!  Thank you for this one!!  ~S~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart  ~~S~~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2003-08-22 09:03 AM


Wonderful write Martie..
Amazing how you are able to see things
and put them into such exquisite verse.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
    Has held me in the same embrace~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
11 posted 2003-08-22 09:09 AM


"fast fast then gone
and on the freeway that is life
this is our song"

~ So true, so very true.

You don't just see--you SEE. Martie, you are a marvellous observer of the world around you and you parlay that into exquisite poetry!


Linda

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

12 posted 2003-08-22 11:16 AM


this is incredible, I grew up summer's on a farm with geese, and you captured them so perfectly in this imagery....I absolutely love this martie...just love it....am printing to capture the beauty *smile*
angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
13 posted 2003-08-22 12:13 PM


I love the imagery and form of your words.They always paint such a beautiful picture on such a wondrous canvas
Crystal

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

14 posted 2003-08-22 12:19 PM


very nice Martie... you capture not only the imagery but the pace...
as usual.. I'm impressed...

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2003-08-22 12:21 PM


The minutes
I can't hear them
they are so fast
down the dirt path
they are running past the lovers
not stopping to watch
the lean against tree
no time to stay
to see the way the bodies fit
or the melting of eyes into the soul of it

And yet you captured them beautifully. *S* Superb work!

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
16 posted 2003-08-22 05:06 PM


Martie - you say time like no one else can and I see things that I can't see - loved this - Paul
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
17 posted 2003-08-22 06:20 PM



Wonderful, as always, Martie.  
Love this...love YOU.

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

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