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Passions in Poetry

Watching Someone Watching Someone Watch (Karens' Challenge)

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littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


0 posted 08-21-2003 07:34 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for littlewing


Out of the corner
peeking
idly, he waits
watching every muscle
ripple
with each
clickety-clack
for hours
I sit
feeling lines of life
with each rise of chest
and release of breath

He thinks I am caught
as a deer in headlights
yet I see  
what he does not
two worlds  

One in front of me and one to the side  
-----------------------------------------------


http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum7/HTML/000582.html


[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-21-2003 07:35 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved
gringakiwi
Member
since 08-05-2003
Posts 192


1 posted 08-21-2003 07:37 PM       View Profile for gringakiwi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gringakiwi

Excellent... and I am curious to know more about this particular situation! (and about the clickety clack!) again..excellent
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


2 posted 08-21-2003 07:38 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!



mirrors in mirrors in mirrors infinity!

I knew one of my crazy ladies would do this--shaking my head, Sue...

thank you kindly my sista...wonderful, and yes, I had to suppress the urge to watch you watch him watching...oh somebody STOP me!!!

love you lady...

(can ya tell I'm having fun here?)

Edder
Senior Member
since 04-02-2003
Posts 676


3 posted 08-21-2003 07:41 PM       View Profile for Edder   Email Edder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Edder

oh my, you DO have a way with words!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


4 posted 08-21-2003 07:43 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

--and I enjoyed watching you watching someone watching someone watch...

I suppose we are never truly alone! Someone--or some thing!--is always watching!  Perish the thought!


EA
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


5 posted 08-21-2003 08:26 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

I like it!

I left feeling a little disturbed at the thought that someone is watching...

Susan
Ringo
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Member Elite
since 02-20-2003
Posts 3696
Saluting with misty eyes


6 posted 08-21-2003 08:30 PM       View Profile for Ringo   Email Ringo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ringo

I guess Rockwell was right when he sang about somebody watching him...
This is an excellent job, lady...

We are all equal but we’re individually different
and able to reach the impossible if we try.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 11-19-2002
Posts 7522
Ohio


7 posted 08-21-2003 08:45 PM       View Profile for inkedgoddess   Email inkedgoddess   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inkedgoddess

gee, sue, i feel like im being peeped just looking in here
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 10-10-2001
Posts 14644
South Carolina, USA


8 posted 08-21-2003 08:46 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

Excellent job LW,  now you guys are peaking
my interest.....
angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 07-19-2003
Posts 2194
Oklahoma


9 posted 08-21-2003 08:54 PM       View Profile for angelblueyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angelblueyes

Wonderfully done.Someone watching someone else.
Crystal
dreambuilder
Member
since 03-23-2003
Posts 324
caddyshack


10 posted 08-22-2003 09:53 AM       View Profile for dreambuilder   Email dreambuilder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dreambuilder

I believe its -
you watching someone watching you watch someone else,who is also watching you

but that would be too long of a title - lol

great write - challenge well met I'm sure

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


11 posted 08-22-2003 09:58 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Very good!  
You met the challenge very well,
and added a third dimension!
NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 01-04-2002
Posts 7709
A Mountain Paradise


12 posted 08-22-2003 10:12 AM       View Profile for NewEnglandlazurlu   Email NewEnglandlazurlu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for NewEnglandlazurlu

Hi Sue, I enjoyed this very much. It is fascinating to sit and watch.

Huggles, Marti
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 06-19-2003
Posts 13093
SE PA


13 posted 08-22-2003 10:22 AM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

astounding write lady Jane...as always thank you
BluesSerenade
Member Rara Avis
since 10-23-2001
Posts 9867
By the Seaside


14 posted 08-22-2003 10:57 AM       View Profile for BluesSerenade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BluesSerenade

Love the way see things tweets~
Quite clever you are, and always so good!
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


15 posted 08-22-2003 01:46 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

kiwi - it is nothing more than me typing, clickety clack and someone watching me while I do so thank you

ahahahah K - I knew you would love this one, saw your reply somewhere in here and said hmmmm . .  I can do that LOL
thank you so much for always making me think

Edder - you are so sweet - thank you so much

Linda, always , I know ewwww . . . lol
thank you

Susan LOL - is ok - is just a write . . . but yes disturbiing, God especially if you didnt know!  aghhhhhhhhhhhhh  thank you

Brad . . .  LOL Rockwell - I havent heard that in soo long lmaooo yes, you are right . .  thank you

Michele, LMAO . . sorry bout that . . . Is that good or bad?

Magnus, now coming from you that means a lot to me . . . LOL thank you

Thank you Crystal - truly

ahahaha Mike, you got it . . . where have you been?  Thank you

Karilea, thank you so much, it is all K's fault

Marti , thank you so much, yes, it sure is

Lee thank you so much , Lady Jane?

Bluesy, thank you - you always make me smile with your replies . . .

Thanks guys
xxoo  

tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


16 posted 01-13-2006 04:55 PM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

I love this...wonderfully visual and your last line fantastic.

~hugs~
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
                        — W. E. Channing


 
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