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Open Poetry #28
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lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho

0 posted 2003-08-20 12:47 PM


somewhere on the
rocky road I faded in the dust
sometimes in sprout of spring I
miss the snow and such oft

times when west
winds blow I
long the
falling
mist
where

reality becomes
a stranger and reminisce
there finds a verse though your
knowing it could be getting worse
even for yearning sentiment had

dismissed and cleverly
replaced with soft
jaded kiss
where
time
is in the
essence and the

past in knowing there must
be more to life than cigarettes
and being frightened of flying
on wings with my poetry
in the hands of a
second-rate
copyright
that had
no more of
a plan than my
house cat that knew

already I was a fool “cause I fed her


Speaking of ghosts, wouldn't you know here comes mine again...
~Rosemary J. Gwaltney~


© Copyright 2003 Dale W. Gwaltney - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-08-20 02:24 AM


I don't know why this sat here down here so long without reply.

Wow.

There is a hypnotic quality in the meter, and I love that not quite finished feel to each line that pulls you on over to the next.

I'm a sucker for the power punch summation line, and you did that with a gentle touch.

smile. Sorta like a boxer who just beat the crap outta somebody and just blew on them to win the match.

Winner by a knock-out.

I'm keeping this, if y'don't mind.

This is poetry, and I like this sorta thing.




Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
2 posted 2003-08-20 03:29 AM


"where
time
is in the
essence and the

past in knowing there must
be more to life than cigarettes
and being frightened of flying
on wings with my poetry
in the hands of a
second-rate
copyright"

Damn, this is really good. I'm saving it, too.

JilGirl
Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364
Washington
3 posted 2003-08-20 05:12 AM


VERY well written with a deliberate
format. MOST impressive!


'Tiz feathers that make the bird -
Always remember to keep them fluffed
but, never, EVER ruffle them!

[This message has been edited by JilGirl (08-20-2003 05:12 AM).]

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
4 posted 2003-08-20 09:20 AM


You'd be amazed how different things can get if you let 'em....and "let" can be the right word, though usually it's more of a "make" kind of thing.... but kitty will ALWAYS be ahead of you, depend on that!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2003-08-20 10:29 AM


Hi brother Dale...loved the rich cadance of this...and the end piece of whimsy.  Trust a cat to always love the hand that feeds it.  Hugs to you and your Rosemary too!
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

6 posted 2003-08-20 10:34 AM


very much enjoyed this is poetry in motion
lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
7 posted 2003-08-20 12:09 PM


Darn Cats,

Seems like all they do is eat, sit and
bathe, play with mice... life must sure
be nice. Rosemary got a kick out of
this too. You're right Ed, but I seem to
have a problem with cats adopting
me..! Martie, RJ sends her best...Did
you get a copy of ya all's book yet..?
thank you all for the read it was fun in
making. Be back soon...

lucky dale

[This message has been edited by lucky (08-20-2003 12:13 PM).]

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