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Open Poetry #28
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Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981


0 posted 2003-08-19 01:46 PM


Your weak constitution
grapples for a hold
The reason why you shudder.

read the story again please?

It is dark inside this cage
and I am ready to leave

Slash marks on the ceiling
counting days
until I’m back again

Get ready to run

Harmless.
I am harmless
innocent puppy eyes
innocent puppy breath
innocent puppy teeth…

Don’t close your eyes tonight
you don’t know who I am
only what I am-
faceless screams,
pointless fear

tell me another story?

It is dark inside this cage
and I am ready to leave

The creak of the floorboards
The smell of steel

I hear your head thinking
why can’t I just use the door?

you love a happy ending

I want oxygen
I want air

It is dark inside this cage…

Open.
Close.

f
  i
   n
    i
     s
      h
      
        t
         h
          e
    
            l
             i
              e
            
                b
                 e
                  f
                   o
                    r
                     e
  
                       i
                        t

ENDS


insanity is not a crime


[This message has been edited by Wind (08-19-2003 09:13 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-08-19 01:49 PM



Well done, Liz...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2003-08-19 01:54 PM


it's always enjoyable to read your words...one never knows where your mind is traveling... on any particular day.

*s
M

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-08-19 01:54 PM


Excellent write Liz!!
You write far beyond your years.
Love the presentation as well.
~Summertime Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
    Has held me in the same embrace~

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
4 posted 2003-08-19 01:59 PM


aaahhhhhhh just what i needed.

finish the lie before it ends.

stop leaving us. now i'm back youre not allowed to be gone. is that selfish? i hope so, i feel like being selfish today.

pure liz origionality genius.



gooooooood to read ya me duckie.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
5 posted 2003-08-19 02:08 PM


ooooh i like this..I like dark Liz
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
6 posted 2003-08-19 02:19 PM



Liz...you never fail to impress me with
your poetry, and this is no exception.
I'm liking this very much.

Hugs,
~Vicky

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (08-19-2003 02:20 PM).]

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
7 posted 2003-08-19 02:25 PM


yes yes I like this...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

8 posted 2003-08-19 02:38 PM


thanks everyone...oh really? is it dark? I've managed to freak myself out. and that song..agh.

Sunshine- thanks sweet
nakdthoughts- no one knows... not even me
Nancy- lol..thanks sweetie
Gem- yes you are selfish. I leave whenever I want. special brat privlage
Raph- yes..we all know you like dark..grins
Vicky- I was thinking the same about you..the one about the book and turning the page
Ceinwyn-you sound very evil...yes..yes mwahahaha.



insanity is not a crime

[This message has been edited by Wind (08-19-2003 02:39 PM).]

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2003-08-19 02:52 PM


Liz, I think sometimes the reason I don't like most dark is because I don't really understand it. But, you know what? I understood this one completely....and I  love  it!!!!.
Liz, just when I think that your writing couldn't possibly get any better, you come up with something like this. I'm keeping this one, my little friend.
Huggs  
Ethel

(psssstttt!!!!  I've still got that Wind rictameter that I wrote for you, and I wrote one for Ralph, too...but I've misplaced them, or something. I've got to find them, then, I'll post them. I wrote them when I was writing all those rictameters.)

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (08-19-2003 02:54 PM).]

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
10 posted 2003-08-19 02:55 PM


still amazing me with your talent...helen
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

11 posted 2003-08-19 03:02 PM


GG- realy? you understood it? because I sure as heck did not. All I know is it is about fear..or whatever you want it to be   I was remebering when I was little and I used to make my mom read the storys over and over because I was afraid she would turn out the lights. Oh and listening to some bizzare music. but if you interpret it otherwise it doesn't matter. half the stuff I write doesn't make much sense
Helen- you amaze me too  


insanity is not a crime

[This message has been edited by Wind (08-19-2003 09:19 PM).]

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