»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #28
»
Masked
| Open Poetry #28 |
|
Masked |
|
|
ShadowRaven Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 51 |
I am a newbie to this forum. Seeing as though I am reading all of your wonderful work - I thought I would share one of mine. I am open to all comments, criticisms, ideas for improvement etc Masked I move my hands Over my gown And fix my mask To hide my frown I walk through the doors And enter the hall I’m ready to endure This ridiculous ball One more night And then I’m free To leave this house And finally be me A tingle of awareness Ripples over me Someone is watching Do they like what they see? Breath on my neck A hand on my back Beneath the mask His eyes are black Shall I play the game? Shall I do the dance? And allow myself A night of romance He grasps my hand Bows low to me We begin to dance His eyes all I see The room is crowded We move away Into the garden Our feet do stray The perfumed flowers The starlight night He is all I see All else leaves my sight He removes his mask His smile reaches his eyes The warmth and passion within Comes as a sweet surprise Removing my mask His hands soft on my face His kisses linger Sweet to taste No words were spoken Throughout the night I gave myself over To pleasure and delight The banquet ends I replace my mask Although it was fun It couldn’t last |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Amanda - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
hey there... Welcome to Passions! your poem is simple but it shows alot of promise... Will be looking for you |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Hi, and welcome to Passions! Your poem sounds similar to a wonderful dream I once had--and would love to have again!  Warm, welcoming hugs, Earth Angel |
||
garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Hello, and welcome to Passions In Poetry. I really enjoyed reading your first post. It's very good and I look forward to reading more of your work. I notice that you've been reading some of the other poets here at PIP. I think you are going to fit right in at our poetry home. Please check your e-mail for a special greeting from all of us here at Passions.  Ethel....garysgirl Moderator/Passions In Poetry |
||
|
whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Hi there, welcome to passions, I found your poem to be very good nice imagery and a wonderful air of romance, enjoyed it much, look forward to reading more from you. Julie |
||
|
ShadowRaven Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 51 |
Thank you so much for the warm welcome and the kind words. I think I am going to love it here. Two of my dearest friends have been urging me to join a poetry forum - they like my work and are very supportive. I have already read some wonderful work and can't wait to read some more. Raven |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Welcome and nice entrance |
||
|
ShadowRaven Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 51 |
heh - cheers. Most of my writing can be rather dark and violent. I'll probably post the majority in the Dark Poetry. Hope you all get something from my work - I have already been moved by some of what I have read. "Is it safe inside your head |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
a very sensual but sad write welcome to Passions! Enjoyed the read, hope to read more of you |
||
|
MoniDaPoet Member
since 2003-08-14
Posts 73California, USA |
I usually don't like poems that rhyme, but yours has a good flow to it. I would onlt suggest that you expand your vocabulary a bit more and try using a play on words. Aside from that, I really did enjoy it. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Your two friends are GOOD friends if they urged you to join a poetry site. Lucky for us, you picked Passions! Welcome Home! Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Welcome, I hope to read more of you. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (smiles) Masks are what we all may wear at one time or another, but if we just patiently wait awhile and identify the starlight in ones smile and tears, then wen know we're not ashamed to remove the gruff exterior! (smiles) This is a beautiful debut, sweet friend, I love it! Welcome to Passions, sweet Amanda, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your wondrous poetry, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Amanda, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
||
|
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Fantastic first post! Welcome to PIP!  |
||
|
Lisann Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350 |
Welcome to passions and good job on your first post. |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
....yeah, what them other folks said....and this an excellent tongue-in-cheek choice for a first post....I think I like how you think! But fair warning, PIP is a ball that goes on and on..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
ShadowRaven Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 51 |
oh my! Thanks for the warm welcome! It seems I picked a good poem to post. I have had another removed *oops*. Oh well, not everyone is going to like my style. Hope you enjoy others that I pick. Raven |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
