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Open Poetry #28
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CastleGuard
Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

0 posted 2003-08-13 05:37 PM



On Love and Hope

As the desert mirage mocks the parched lips,
So sweet dreams will fade with the rising sun --
As reality the consciousness grips --
The Eden of the mind is on the run.

When first rays of light lone shadows spawn,
Awake each day on bed of gritty dunes --
Then dance with frigid stillness of the dawn
To the rhythm of the solitary tunes.

The silent screams that make the eardrums bleed;
The cries that echo in abandoned well --
For love has fled, and none is left to feed
The remnants of the bare, deserted shell --

Yet, within the cries, an inaudible
Whisper calls; this infant of a wonder;
-- And Time, the Overseer amiable,
Will forge the whisper into roaring thunder.

Thus in Hope there looms the death of strife --
And the whisper of a love that will not die
Is carried by the yearning for new life --
For upon Eternal wings -- Love does fly.

CG

© Copyright 2003 CastleGuard - All Rights Reserved
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
1 posted 2003-08-13 08:38 PM


Wow -- very nice!  This rings of a classic poem, indeed.  Congratulations on a write very well done.  Why are there no responses???

-MVS

You CAN make a difference: http://educate-yourself.org/

[This message has been edited by MARK V SHELDON (08-13-2003 08:38 PM).]

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
2 posted 2003-08-13 09:53 PM


I'm rather curious as to why this has only one reply, myself.  I found it very enchanting and lilting, as was said before, like a good classic poem.

I liked these two stanzas:
"As the desert mirage mocks the parched lips,
So sweet dreams will fade with the rising sun --
As reality the consciousness grips --
The Eden of the mind is on the run.

When first rays of light lone shadows spawn,
Awake each day on bed of gritty dunes --
Then dance with frigid stillness of the dawn
To the rhythm of the solitary tunes."

It gives me the impression of our dreams being an Eden like oasis in the middle of a rough dry desert (ie, waking life), but then at the end there is hope after all.

Very touching, and well done.  Enjoyed the read.  

Nicole

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2003-08-13 09:56 PM


Thus in Hope there looms the death of strife --
And the whisper of a love that will not die
Is carried by the yearning for new life --
For upon Eternal wings -- Love does fly.


This is beautiful. Enjoyed.  Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul ~
            Emily Dickinson




    

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2003-08-13 10:05 PM


You have captured so much!  
I wanted to pick and choose my favorite verse,
but I found it impossible to play favorites.  
Gawd, you're good!!

Bravo, bravo CG~

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
5 posted 2003-08-15 12:31 PM


This deserves another go-'round!

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
6 posted 2003-08-15 05:04 PM


this is a terrific write,,

     


CastleGuard
Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760
Alberta, Canada
7 posted 2003-08-15 05:08 PM



Thank you all for the words of appreciation, and for rescuing this piece from the abyss of nothingness....

Yes, classic poetry is my weakness -- hopefully not demise.

CG

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2003-08-15 05:33 PM


"For upon eternal wings-love does fly."
James

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
9 posted 2003-08-16 12:25 PM


You are a great poet! enjoyed your style of poetry...

Thanks~ARH

[This message has been edited by A Romantic Heart (08-16-2003 12:25 AM).]

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