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Open Poetry #28

Undying Pain

Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member

since 2003-02-19

Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2003-08-11 02:36 PM

Like a dagger in my stomach,
like a Million Needles in my heart,
but a billion times worse.
this pain will kill me if kept unattained,
this pain will be my undoing.

The sweet sound of a once beautiful voice,
now a screeching yearning in my heart.
the pain tightens,
the pain never lets up,
the pain rushes through my every pore.

Only one cure has been found,
one possible solution,
in which cannot be overlooked;
esle I will die.

this in truth can only be done,
by one who gives much joy.

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-08-12 06:54 PM

Can't believe this has no replies!

Awesome write, doll.. just great..full of feeling, and I do understand.

Gabriel Frost
Member

since 2002-08-15

Posts 216
Between midnight thoughts

2 posted 2003-08-12 07:34 PM

Stunning. Quite expressive. I think this may benefit from a rhyme pattern though. Sounds good in free verse, but its anice experiment to try

Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member

since 2003-02-19

Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada

3 posted 2004-07-05 02:52 AM

thankx everyone for your lovely comments

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