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Gabriel Frost
Member

since 2002-08-15

Posts 216
Between midnight thoughts

0 posted 2003-08-10 06:51 PM

Caressing the winds
That drape my skin
I'm left to silence
The voice within,
That remembers yesterday
And bids your stay
Inside my minds
Constant replay;
The thoughts still haunt me
The silence cries
Alone and empty
Compassion dies,
A fresh death every
Moonlit time
I Breathlessly
Search the sky,
Hoping intently
For your reply
To why you left me
Here to die.
Lost in the pages,
Of my own sorrow
I mourn for ages
Long ago,
That were just yesterday
But never return
Your heart my memory
I live to burn;
With each fresh breath
I take for you
Waiting for never
To come true,
In a midnight garden,
Where carnations lay
Their milk kissed petals,
With sultry sway
On the comforting
Earthen clay,
That holds them tender,
With warmth so true,
I fall forever,
I fall in you.
The dewdrops run slow,
As the daffodils cry
With soothing woe
I shut my eye,
Secure that nothing,
Will harm me here,
Alone I remain,
With dewdrop stare.

[This message has been edited by Gabriel Frost (08-10-2003 06:57 PM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2003-08-10 06:54 PM

Speechless...
Hugs, TD

eminor_angel
Member

since 2003-05-22

Posts 323
Canada

2 posted 2003-08-10 06:54 PM

good write. the following rhyme jumped out at me, because it's inconsistant:

Inside my mind
In constant replay

the word 'replay' has its emphasis on the first syllable, therefore wrecking the scheme of 'perfect rhymes' you had established. Not something you'd always notice reading/writing a poem, but reading it aloud will always help you with your rhyme and rhythm.

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

3 posted 2003-08-10 06:55 PM

Enjoyed your poetry! is Robert FROST any relation to you?........

Thanks~ARH

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

4 posted 2003-08-10 06:55 PM

alone i remain with dew drop stare... nice closing gabe , theres alot of years pouring out in this write my lad ,
wolf

Gabriel Frost
Member

since 2002-08-15

Posts 216
Between midnight thoughts

5 posted 2003-08-10 07:00 PM

...oh Robert, i taught him years ago (laugh)
But seriously thank u all for responding, it means alot. And eminor, i changed it, much thanks!

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

6 posted 2003-08-10 07:06 PM

Taught him years ago? that was funny!

It is still a lovely poem...fixed or not we get your meaning!

~ARH

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2003-08-10 08:37 PM

In a midnight garden,
Where carnations lay
Their milk kissed petals,
With sultry sway
On the comforting
Earthen clay,
That holds them tender,
With warmth so true,
I fall forever,
I fall in you.

~&~

Very poignant...
and enchanting...

Gabriel Frost
Member

since 2002-08-15

Posts 216
Between midnight thoughts

8 posted 2003-08-12 07:56 PM

Thank you. It's somewhat relieving to know other ppl feel it.

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