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Open Poetry #28
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symphony_of_thoughts
Member
since 2003-08-03
Posts 95
Somewhere

0 posted 2003-08-08 10:20 PM


I once thought
Where am I going
I often fought
With myself of where my thoughts were showing

I knew church was the answer
But I still laid in ruins
Striking within me like cancer
The striking were my thoughts clashing
Ever so galantly, not picking sides

The world let me sleep before, but now the drugs wore off
I often laid awake many a night
Not knowing why it's there
It gave me the most depressing fright
It would always tear my happiness in half

I tried to leave it behind
Always jumping back up to my mind
I tried not to find
My tired old mind
Funerals and deaths never helped
Because I couldn't accept
Fully knowing, where I am going
I have to think, but it's so sad

I couldn't reason
It didn't understand
My mind's own treason
When will it finally land

When will the feeling subside
If it didn't stop...
Would my mind have died
Why had I so much cried
Inside my heart had lied

For that time I was lost
I couldn't find the path
I was confusingly crossed
Why was I feeling my own wrath

As I lay it aside
I wish I had not cried
I remember the nonsense
I remember the loss
All the time of nothing
Where did it go, I guess I lost the grip.

Where is God?
I don't want to die?
Where is my mind?
Chained happiness
Chained thoughts
Blurred landscapes?
People spoke with many words?
Uncomprehensible by my own ears.

Why am I going to die?
I am so young?
I should speak the truth, and not lie?
Believe in what you will?
I want to realease it
I want my chained happiness back
Give it back without a word
Rip the chains
Break my compulsive hold
Open the light so I may see
Make me believe, So I can breathe
I want to live so much more
No more dead thoughts

All I want is flourished happiness
Unchained thoughts for myself
So I can be free
Even though my thoughts lay solitary
It shouldn't be chained
My mind must be free even though nothing is spoken
I must believe
I want to be set free
To feel the sunlight unburdened again
To see the grass without blurred thoughts
Unwrap the bandage from my eyes
I want to sit with God's eye on my shoulder without any care

© Copyright 2003 symphony_of_thoughts - All Rights Reserved
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
1 posted 2003-08-09 12:49 PM


good write, keep those thoughts going and the ink flowing welcome to Passions.


ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2003-08-09 08:50 AM


Symphony
This is a poem that everyone can relate too. A fine expression of you feelings.There are many different keys that open the door of happiness, perhaps your key is the church, but remember: Gods eye is always looking over your shoulder.Consider it the third eye, that looks out from your heart.
Peace........ice


symphony_of_thoughts
Member
since 2003-08-03
Posts 95
Somewhere
3 posted 2003-08-09 02:04 PM


I'm acutally good now, all of that stuff in my poem has long passed.  It all started about over a year ago when I was really contemplating where I was going to go after I die, I was continuously saying heaven, but then I kept thinking what if there is nothing, I would just be left in a never-ending dark oblivion.  I thought about that for about 2 weeks during the summer.  But I have soon accepted that this universe could not have been created just by an accidental explosion, there had to be someone else intervening.  I'm a Lutheran Christian right now.  I'm not that strong in the religion, but I still believe.  
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