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Open Poetry #28
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Wind
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0 posted 2003-08-08 05:15 PM



Deeper set eyes look back, a double glance
To set in time the pain you caused
Fingers still playing with the stickiness of blood

Trust is a foolish word-
I felt fear
where you should've been,
your shadows haunting me
Inviting me to kiss a silver life,
Taking mine or leaving you to die

Tears run into open wounds, stinging the flesh

you have no reason
to make me hate you so,
but for sheer delight
in that bitter taste
resting on my tongue and running out of my lips
that you kissed just last night
slicing me up, with the pain that's who I am
it felt good

overcome by addiction,
I feel my reflection
as it judges me

speak up girl-
what have you become?

***this was inspired by paranoia, insanity and riley's strange thread in feelings.   it turned out a bit different than we planned, but it fits both of us pretty well. welcome to the dark side ***

[This message has been edited by Wind (08-08-2003 05:51 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved
Ceinwyn
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since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
1 posted 2003-08-08 06:09 PM


haha this lil guy comes in handy,eh!?

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

bsquirrel
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since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2003-08-08 06:11 PM


Vivid. Lurid. Broken. Lost.

Oh yeah, it's dark. It's also extremely evocative writing of a topic I have trouble coming to terms with.

Still. It's all in there.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (08-08-2003 06:16 PM).]

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
3 posted 2003-08-08 06:13 PM


Very dark, but very powerful.You both did great.
angelblueyes

littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
4 posted 2003-08-08 06:15 PM


Amazing . . . why hasnt this been done earlier?

Dark beauty indeed . . .
Congrats guys, I love this
xxoo

Wind
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5 posted 2003-08-08 06:34 PM


thank you guys very much..
btw littlwing..we've been planing it for a while

insanity is not a crime

Aenimal
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since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
6 posted 2003-08-08 07:20 PM


Wow seriously in awe you two are seemless.. one of many more i hope
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
7 posted 2003-08-08 08:35 PM


Perfect! Bravo! hugs to you both, Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul ~
            Emily Dickinson




    

Riley
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in the pouring rain
8 posted 2003-08-08 08:50 PM


thank you all.....


riley

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2003-08-09 09:12 AM


this needs to breathe . . .
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2003-08-09 09:59 AM



...breathe, indeed...

it also needs to be done again.
The duet, I mean.

Marvelous bit of interplay, you too...
I cannot say I always care for "dark" poetry,
but the two of you could get me
to change my mind.

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
11 posted 2003-08-09 12:26 PM


Trust is a foolish word-
I felt fear
where you should've been

You two?

I jus love ya...this is perfect.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

12 posted 2003-08-09 06:43 PM


lol..

::takes award: I'd like to thank my family, my friends and all the good people of piptalk. I'd like to thank my lack of sleep and accute case of paranoia. But most of all, I'd like to thank my wonderfull duet partner. But? sadly I can't..because this award is imaginary ::

insanity is not a crime

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
13 posted 2003-08-10 01:16 AM


I would agree with above

"dark" is something
that needs careful balance
or it becomes mush
same with "light " I suppose
but you two DID do
a great job

yes, wouldn't mind summore
snakes from the little charmers

Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
14 posted 2003-08-10 02:23 AM


wow..yes!!! awesome.
at a loss for words.. partially because this is just that good,
partially because i'm sleep deprived..

loved this, going in the library.

Riley
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in the pouring rain
15 posted 2003-08-10 04:41 PM


i would accept an imaginary award :grabs it and runs off:


* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
16 posted 2003-08-10 05:03 PM


Amazing duet you two!!
Extremely well written.
~Hugs to you both~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
    Has held me in the same embrace~

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

17 posted 2003-08-10 08:29 PM


I started quoting, then realized I'd quoted all but the first 3 lines (not that I didn't like them, just liked the rest better)     Anyway, this was a really cool surprise to come back to!  Really nice job on this one.  Ya'll did good!  
Dark does work well from both of you.  
Now...did ya miss me????     

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
18 posted 2003-08-10 10:08 PM


A very interesting visit to the darkside--but I wouldn't want to live there!

You two do dark well!


EA

Wind
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Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

19 posted 2003-08-15 05:01 PM


thanks evryone. And Duc? you were gone? of corse I missed ya

insanity is not a crime

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