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Open Poetry #28
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QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.

0 posted 2003-08-08 04:55 PM





silence has become a tradition
within the walls that once sang
with melodies of you

tear drops linger on the face of
the teddy bear you left behind

our bed has become cold since
you left with tears damping my
pillow

life within me is dormant without
your love and presence

the candles have dimmed there
glow of flicker cobwebs decorate
the fireplace

dust shields the scents of you
with days gone by

perhaps our love drifted like away
like clouds on a stormy day

however my love for you still burns
like the high noon sun

return to me my love the storm
has blown away and our love has
weathered through many storms

    


© Copyright 2003 gMt - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2003-08-08 05:28 PM


Like this...reminded me of the lonely teddy bear in the yard in the movie "Amelie".
James

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
2 posted 2003-08-09 12:53 PM


Good write, but for the last stanza I'd replace one of 'the storm' with another word to avoid repetition and break your first line before the storm..just a suggestion


aujussy wolf
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Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
3 posted 2003-08-10 10:16 PM


a tear jerker , we never lose the love we had for those who have passed on
wolf

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2003-08-11 05:18 AM


you didn't put a "hanky warning" on this Glenn

damn it

JilGirl
Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364
Washington
5 posted 2003-08-11 07:13 AM


Fine write!
Hope you have Kleenex for that sad teddy bear!
Very romantic!

'Tiz feathers that make the bird -
Always remember to keep them fluffed
but, never, EVER ruffle them!

minoune
Member
since 2003-08-10
Posts 87
Canada
6 posted 2003-08-11 08:34 AM


really felt this post. My heart goes out to you.

minoune

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
7 posted 2003-08-11 08:45 AM


Wow, Q.  You expressed you sorrow so eloquently with words I believe we all have known at some point in our lives.  

Superbly written, my poet friend.

Patricia  

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2003-08-11 03:51 PM


A Big fat DITTO what Dixie said...geez

Susan *hug*

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