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Open Poetry #28
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-08-03 06:36 PM


"I propose a toast," he smiled.
"to my wife, of just one year--
congratulations to us both--
somehow we survived."

The ghost did not reply.

© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
1 posted 2003-08-03 06:51 PM


ummmm the ghost??? I'm trying sooo hard to sound intelligent here...maybe I'm trying to hard to understand everyone today

Kristen

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
2 posted 2003-08-03 06:52 PM


What? No replies?

It may be short but impacts quite well!

Enjoyed!

~Tier

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

3 posted 2003-08-03 07:07 PM


i like...

wit lotsa luv
n a lil luck
this chika's gonna go
play wit a hockey puck
(literally, not that way, you sick minded ppl...sheesh)
Keryn(Crazi/hockeyluva)

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

4 posted 2003-08-03 09:49 PM


needs to be reread. perhaps my mind is not smart enough..waddya expect..I'm no genus? lol genius. I most certainly am not. Although I still managed to enjoy

insanity is not a crime

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2003-08-03 10:11 PM


sigh.

At least I titled it appropriately.

chuckle.

Not a major theme folks--it is just what it is. A wedding anniversary--the husband toasts his wife, joking that they "survived."

The ghost is his wife.

The idea being that not only did they both NOT survive, but he hadn't even noticed her pass away...

and of course? This is all fiction.

Thanks for reading.

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
6 posted 2003-08-03 11:52 PM


woah, seren..damn good writing as usual.. I've come to expect it. I'm a fan.
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
7 posted 2003-08-04 07:47 AM


Hmmmm, karen..i have not been married, but damn, this representation of the degree to which someone can be ignored, unseen and unappreciated, yes, i know this.

when he couldn't see me, i didn't exist.
and sometimes, when he could, other things were more important.

glad its fiction, but wow, u couldn't have penned it better.

Library!

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
8 posted 2003-08-04 07:59 AM


igotit! igotit!

great write, my serene friend...

regards
sudhir

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
9 posted 2003-08-04 09:33 AM


Karen, well, I for one have been that "ghost" and this write gave me chills of rememberance. Excellent. hugs, Chris



"The suspense is terrible.
I hope it will last!"
-Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka



    

Fee
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 381
Melbourne, Australia
10 posted 2003-08-04 09:38 AM


Hmmm Marriage can do that to a person.

I liked.

Fee

Expressions,
are the most important aspects, they create impressions

0'.".'0  Just
((T))    Thinking
(..)(..) Of you
(```)_(```)

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2003-08-04 09:54 AM


a ghost indeed...oh I got it alright..

I was a ghost in my childhood.

Excellent Karen!

Susan C.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2003-08-04 02:59 PM


Oh I got it...just wished I didnt...
(for the both of us)

Here--let me--its my turn to clean the mirrors.

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

Ringo
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
13 posted 2003-08-04 03:38 PM


That last line makes one wonder, doesn't it?? It made me think as to what you meant,. and then it forced me to think of what it meant to me. Truly the work of one of the grand mistresses of the arts.

We are all equal but we’re individually different
and able to reach the impossible if we try.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2003-08-04 03:44 PM



Fiction?

That was the hardest
fictitious punch
I've felt in a long time...

It's been a year?

ye'gads...

were we having fun?


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
15 posted 2003-08-04 06:30 PM


serenity blaze - I understand perfectly ye witch of the cypress...

BC

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
16 posted 2003-08-04 07:34 PM


I understand this, but then I live as a ghost.

Nice to see you manage a "short" write.  (Yes, I do know that size doesn't matter.)


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

17 posted 2003-08-04 08:01 PM


thanks for jamming on the toast, good poets.



and ice? um, yeah, sure. Size? It doesn't matter.

I do seem to have trouble doing the short ones though.

Love to all...serenity exits, adjusting her halo...


Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
18 posted 2003-08-04 08:05 PM


I don't know this really caught my attention.  I read it several times.  Great poem.  
chillidriver
New Member
since 2003-08-03
Posts 7

19 posted 2003-08-04 11:40 PM


don't ever remember you saying size doesn't matter seren. must be a ghost of the person I knew.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
20 posted 2003-08-04 11:45 PM


K - sorry I havent been in here . . .
I know . . .

xxoo

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
21 posted 2003-08-05 02:19 AM



*reaches over with a soft cloth*...you
missed a spot on that halo...

Love you, Karen...

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
22 posted 2003-08-05 02:58 AM


gawd! a short and powerful punch
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
23 posted 2003-08-05 09:00 AM


Yeah, the short ones are good, they just have to be able to drive it home...

um..like this one.

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
24 posted 2003-08-05 09:50 PM


rictus
grin

sigh

anniversary

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
25 posted 2003-08-07 11:29 PM


What a tasty little poem....and I do like surprises!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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