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Open Poetry #27
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2003-07-30 07:38 PM


Bumble Bee

I left my feet around the curve
in the thrash of wind, caress of dust
beneath the hum of street wire girly lust

that was my first touch.

I thought they’d stay with me always
within the amber and the brown

me a little bumble bee
a tangle of light a tenderness of flight.

I used to ride a bike
the ones with Harley handle bars
up and down the Christian worship
where a stream once flowed and one-armed
men mowed their troubles away

Vietnam.

I’d zig-zag my way into dreams
past fibro charms and bricked boxes
with picket fences left for last

what would become of my past?

And then I’d hear my mum blast

Mari, Mari.

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (07-30-2003 09:57 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-07-30 07:41 PM


I left my feet around the curve
in the thrash of wind, caress of dust
beneath the hum of street wire girly lust

~*~

I can see why
voices touched you...
because you reached out
and touched them first...

this is more than lovely...
'tis a

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2003-07-30 07:42 PM


awww Maree...you touch me with all your poetry, with this memory you so touch and capture so much feeling within your imagery, it makes me wish that I had written so well....it's wonderful to read your poetry!!


Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
3 posted 2003-07-30 07:46 PM


Oh my...your images are so beautifully clear in my mind.  This is lovely.  

Patricia

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2003-07-30 09:27 PM


"beneath the hum of street wire girly lust"

Just the above line, is worth the price of admission.


Extra nice Maree.

Ed
*once again, wondering why he sold his bike*

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
5 posted 2003-07-30 09:30 PM


Wish I could write like that!

jwesley

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-07-30 09:34 PM


OHMYGOSH!!  Incredible writing!
I love this...and I'm keeping it!
~Hugs~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
    Has held me in the same embrace~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
7 posted 2003-07-30 09:36 PM


She posted..I'm in heaven grins

You have a dreamlike way with words, you always take us with you for the ride.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-07-31 10:02 AM


ahh yes Maree . . . a dream within a dream
I love looking into your mind
it fascinates me
thank you
xxoo

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2003-07-31 10:09 AM


I left my feet around the curve
in the thrash of wind, caress of dust
beneath the hum of street wire girly lust

that was my first touch.

I thought they’d stay with me always
within the amber and the brown

================================

you will already know this brown eyed girlie is loving this one
love the mix of surreal and abstract here...
and YES...its always groovy when Poetess Maree posts.!!

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
10 posted 2003-07-31 10:21 AM


Same handle bars, plus a banana seat...remember those?

I really loved this piece.

Susan C.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
11 posted 2003-07-31 11:00 AM


there is depth in this write, and a touch of sorrow~

M

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
12 posted 2003-07-31 12:21 PM


Now THAT'S poetry! Wow, what a ride!

You take such simple things, images of ordinary things, and make them glow with magic -- well done.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
13 posted 2003-07-31 12:49 PM


Oh Maree, what a treat you have gifted us with
here today!  A rare treat, too, it is.  
I'm going to keep this, Lady, because it so good,
and it may be a while before I see another one
of yours.

Hugs to you, Lady  
Ethel

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
14 posted 2003-07-31 12:55 PM


yes I must admit in the most sincere way your words are far better than chocolate...hahaha that's saying alot coming from me

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (07-31-2003 12:55 PM).]

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
15 posted 2003-07-31 12:55 PM


I'd like to echo JM's reply (so what else is new?!?) --a "mix of surreal and abstract"

--and very skillfully done at that!


EA

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
16 posted 2003-07-31 02:03 PM


M,

gorgeous poem! your imagery in this is
absolutely stunning, you really brought
it to life. Glad to see you. I have missed
you. Talk to you soon.

Amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 2003-07-31 02:51 PM


Such vivid imagery... so very well written... thanks for taking us on the ride. *S*
Velociraptor1
Junior Member
since 2003-07-23
Posts 14
Australia
18 posted 2003-07-31 05:53 PM


Hi mum i like your poem i read it and it interests me    
              

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

19 posted 2003-08-03 07:42 AM


Thank you all so very much for your lovely replies and for popping in to read me

and Susan.C yup I remember those banana seats. hehe.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


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