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Open Poetry #27
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2003-07-30 02:22 PM



Revolving door

I wanted to leave you
wanted to keep me here
with pretence of acquiesce
you pushed me in
and then jumped in
right behind me
hand to hand we
faced off
you pushed
I pulled and
opposing forces
started the revolution
around and around
we traveled far
and got nowhere
fast
can’t we breach
this divide
where two are two
and not one
as promised
jump please
jump oh
stop please stop
this
spinning

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (07-30-2003 02:23 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Ankaria
Junior Member
since 2003-07-26
Posts 35
Sask. Canada
1 posted 2003-07-30 02:24 PM


You really gained tempo in this piece. It's very fun to read and open ended! Good work
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
2 posted 2003-07-30 02:43 PM


Well, eventually the mind just quits and the body keeps spinning; try to get off before that.
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

3 posted 2003-07-30 02:48 PM


ankaria, thank you, glad you found a postive note in it

icebox, exactly, I think I hit that point and am finally coming back to my senses.....thanks

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (07-30-2003 06:05 PM).]

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2003-07-30 03:14 PM


Do you remember that poem buzz posted long ago about VL in the washing machine? *G* I'm reminded of that... the lack of control in your own destiny...

I know this lacks the foolishness and grins... but through the angst of this spin, a thought of happy times slipped in. *S*

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
5 posted 2003-07-30 04:19 PM


Sounds like the opposing thoughts in my mind.  Should I..Shouldn't I...middle of the night indecisions to the point of "bed spins".  

A wonderful write, Ms. Beans.

Patricia

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2003-07-30 04:22 PM


JellyGal~
I KNOW that concept~
You wrote the emotion perfectly~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

7 posted 2003-07-30 06:05 PM


well, smiles are nice, so slip them my way anytime....love you lady

patricia, you know I hadn't thought of it like that, this was push and pull between a 'couple' but after your comment I reread and was pleased to see it could be read that way as well, thank you for the insight

marge...yep, thought you would, we seem to share quite a few things in life *smile*

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2003-07-31 03:09 AM


damn! this is me
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2006-06-26 11:05 AM


thankyou
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