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Open Poetry #27
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~*Tantalize*~
Junior Member
since 2003-07-29
Posts 26
Sunny California (San Francisco Bay Area)

0 posted 2003-07-29 11:22 PM


My best friend had a baby last year and when he was 7 weeks old, he died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) so I wrote this poem for her and framed it and left it for her. What do you think. I have another one that I wrote for her right after t happened, but I wasn't sure how people would react to something sad, so I thought I'd be safe and post this one first. Tell me what you think and if you'd like the other one.
~Jen


I'm sure today is hard for you

To be without your son

If God hadn't taken him

Today he'd be turning One

I have seen how much it's been hurting you

To go on without his love

But now you have an angel

Watching over you from above

I know he knew you loved him

As only a mother could

And if he could be here to love you back

am positive that he would

God knew he loved you

But He wanted his love too

So without an explanation, he was gone

Leaving you not knowing what to do

Mason would want you to carry on


Even though it may be hard

Try to carry on knowing that fact

that his love is never far

One day you will see him again

And I know what he will do

He will look you in the eyes and say

Mommy I have missed you



© Copyright 2003 Jennifer ~*Tantalize*~ - All Rights Reserved
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
1 posted 2003-07-29 11:26 PM


I'd be a fool if I didn't tell you that this made me cry...cos I can't stop bawling *sigh*

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
2 posted 2003-07-29 11:30 PM


Welcome to PIP.
An emotive entrance for sure, but so tenderly conveyed.  Never pause the write waiting to burn bright.
Look forward to reading you. ThisDiamond

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2003-07-30 01:52 AM


There is no pain to match it, no despair so deep.... and you bring it out very well. Your friend is lucky to have you, and we're lucky to have you too, if this first post is any indication of the way you write.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Mick Hawkes
Member
since 2000-10-26
Posts 90
Tees-side , England
4 posted 2003-07-30 02:49 AM


The gift of the poem to your friend is what true friendship is surely all about & i'm sure it ment alot to her.
welcome to PIP & i hope you put in the other poem, i look forward to reading it.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2003-07-30 05:03 AM


The last line is really effective.  Beautiful thoughts...James
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
6 posted 2003-07-30 05:08 AM


Your friend is a very lucky person to have one such as yourself to give peace and comfort, which I am sure she knows.  This is so beautiful, and will be a comfort to any who have experienced this dreadful pain...to lose a child is a pain that cuts the deepest into the heart.  You're a very welcomed addition to our family here, and I for one, will look forward to seeing you here regularly!  God Bless.....~~S~~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart  ~~S~~

ambrish
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257
India
7 posted 2003-07-30 05:17 AM


a very sincere poem
   i hope they will meet one day

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2003-07-30 06:40 AM



A lovely, thoughtful gift, Jen.  Welcome to Passions.  Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen?

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2003-07-30 09:09 AM


Welcome to Passions!
This was a very loving gesture on your part.
You sound like a very caring person and a good friend.
I look forward to seeing more of your writing.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
    Has held me in the same embrace~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2003-07-30 09:22 AM


Tantalize,
Welcome and a wonderful gesture.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
11 posted 2003-07-30 09:23 AM


You have a kind heart, a loving soul and express yourself beautifully through poetry--you've come to the "write" place--Passions!
I like you already!

Warm welcoming hugs,
Earth Angel


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
12 posted 2003-07-30 09:26 AM


~*Tantalize*~ - a poem well done for a friend in need. Your heart is true, your pen is of tenderness...

BC

El_Campeador
Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761
Ohio, USA
13 posted 2003-07-30 09:27 AM


Lovely, Jen. This poem is beautiful...

Welcome to PiP!

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
14 posted 2003-07-30 10:14 AM


Lovely Jen.
Welcome to Passions!
Enjoy yourself here.
hugs, Chris

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
15 posted 2003-07-30 01:17 PM


Jennifer~
Welcome to our little circle of poets and friends~

Your compassion for your friend speaks so softly in your penning~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
16 posted 2003-07-30 01:31 PM


What a wonderful, compassionate write. *S* Welcome to Passions! *S*
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
17 posted 2003-07-30 01:38 PM


Every scrap of comfort a grieving mother can receive is worth the effort.  I am sure she welocmed your poem.  Joyce
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
18 posted 2003-07-30 01:46 PM


To wrap a friend in such a blanket of love, says a lot about you - welcome to Passions, and although this was sad, you did an excellent job on it.
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

19 posted 2003-07-30 02:22 PM


I am a little late for welcoming you..but I will honestly tell you that this shook me in its saddnes. don't worry, there is nothing wrong with writing sad poetry. I welcome it

insanity is not a crime

Ankaria
Junior Member
since 2003-07-26
Posts 35
Sask. Canada
20 posted 2003-07-30 02:27 PM


Oh that's a beautiful piece! You have a very comforting tone. Good luck and have fun on the forum.
~*Tantalize*~
Junior Member
since 2003-07-29
Posts 26
Sunny California (San Francisco Bay Area)
21 posted 2003-08-01 03:12 AM


Hey guys, wow, I am glad eveyone likes my work. I am used to posting my work on boards that get no response, this place is AMAZING! Thank you all SO much for replying! Ill dig up some more work and post it, ( I haven't been really too into writing lately, lifes been a bit rough!) But, THANK YOU AGAIN!
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