navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #27 » When Did You Change?
Open Poetry #27
Post A Reply Post New Topic When Did You Change? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-07-29 08:46 AM




Pushing back old layers frayed in your absence
malting the weak rooted wisps of holding on
why should I let you, spoil twisted in anger
the beauty inbetween my heart and eyes
for brain aches confusion constant
of how I appreciated every moment
and still

lost

I have so much in replacement
the void you possess
so close to nothing matters
unravel, undress
you can't say you're satisfied
where we have settled
random no,
you put us where we are

I know
the hours weren't wasted
for this
there must be something
ha
maybe not

You tucked me in
kissed brow
fretted
over my anger

Now
I lay
bare
in bold silence
unafraid
that
you lost the
care

Yet
will
always
wonder
when
where
and
how
it
lost
you

or
vice
versa
.


Instant karma's gonna get you.

© Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2003-07-29 08:52 AM


gemjop
or
vice
versa
Enjoyed.

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
2 posted 2003-07-29 08:57 AM


very nice write, this made me think
a lot. I like your phrasing very much.
Take care.
Amy

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-07-29 10:03 AM


Gemjop..gumdrop. heh. just one thought..sometimes it's not that the person changed..but that theynever change and are unable to grow. anyways..i loved your poem-or vice versa (nah..just messin with you) you know that one poem that you wrote? i say it too myself sometimes..the nowhere woman poem.

I liked the form of this too..it was like a needle..

Gem- never be normal

insanity is not a crime

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-07-29 11:10 AM


I have so much in replacement
the void you possess
so close to nothing matters
unravel, undress
you can't say you're satisfied
where we have settled

========================

whoa.. that is such a cool verse...
this part just rose off the page and spoke to me.
well done poetess gem

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

El_Campeador
Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761
Ohio, USA
5 posted 2003-07-29 11:50 AM


Ah, this one hurts. Good write, Gemma...

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
6 posted 2003-07-29 05:40 PM


Thankyou...I think I'm finally getting my head straight.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
7 posted 2003-07-29 11:42 PM


It is definitely in the air ...


         CHANGE!

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
8 posted 2003-07-29 11:49 PM


Such a beautiful smile but so much pain behind it *sigh* change is nice..like I said a gazillion times I wish I could wave my magic wand but yanno stupid thing ran away with the spoon..while the cow jumped over the moon lol errrr n/m

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
9 posted 2003-07-30 12:14 PM


amazing gem.. simply amazing purge
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
10 posted 2003-07-30 12:50 PM


Are you sure we aren't living the same lives? *hugs* Lady
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
11 posted 2003-07-30 01:31 AM


I love the way the style changed in this poem,

so deeply moving, as well.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2003-07-30 01:54 AM


I echo Kaoru, the style does lend effectiveness--from the initial outpouring to the release of word dripping down the page--works wonderfully for the message.

And this one--what can I say lady? I live it too. But in my own persoal take on it? I have to wonder if he changed or if I finally took off the rose colored glasses. sigh.

Maybe he didn't change at all. Maybe I just SEE him now.

Warm hugs.

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
13 posted 2003-07-30 11:46 AM


great write....


riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
14 posted 2003-07-30 11:54 AM


Very powerful.

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
15 posted 2003-07-30 11:55 AM


Men don't really change. They just end their masquerades!


EA

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (07-30-2003 11:57 AM).]

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
16 posted 2003-07-30 11:57 AM


Gemma,

So much of what you wrote is so true....very nice.

Susan C.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
17 posted 2003-07-30 12:23 PM


Gemma - this has a beautiful flow
and here:

or
vice
versa
.


yes I wonder too . . .
xxoo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
18 posted 2003-07-30 01:11 PM


damn gemma

how I can relate

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
19 posted 2003-07-30 03:12 PM


  

Thanks for stopping by, with your kind words and advice. I appreciate every word yanno?

love yoooouuuuu!
xxxxxxx

Instant karma's gonna get you.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
20 posted 2003-07-30 05:11 PM


Unless you are really mean I don't think people want you to change too much...the person you are is the person they are attracted to...James
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #27 » When Did You Change?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary