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Open Poetry #27
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Riley
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since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2003-07-27 12:15 PM



it's not that good, but o well....it prolly isn't even the right thing, but heck i tried
I am a wondering mind, and the tear in your eye
I wonder if the role i take on is to great
I hear the rain falling around me
I see myself dancing in the streets
I want to see your eyes look into mine and mean it
I am a wondering mind, and the tear in your eye

I pretend that you care when i am crying
I feel scared when the ghosts touch my arm in the dark
I touch the waters of the nile
I worry that you think of me never
I cry because you'll never know
I am a wondering mind, and the tear in your eye

I understand feelings are a thing of my past right now
I say I am a force to be reckoned with
I dream my hand in yours, if only for a minute
I try to make you see, yet you fail to look up
I hope you will never understand, as there will be more the discover
I am a wondering mind and the tear in your eye

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

© Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2003-07-27 12:22 PM


Oh Yeah Riley:
Exactly the right thing...done very well.
You ARE the fragile and the gentle...spoken well in your chosen words.  Great! TD

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
2 posted 2003-07-27 12:25 PM


yes I agree this is right..but you know there is no right or wrong with poetry or your feelings dear poet...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2003-07-27 12:52 PM



"I am a wondering mind, and the tear in your eye"

Love this, Riley.  So glad you did one of these.
I enjoyed the peek inside of 'you'.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2003-07-27 01:01 AM


You're wrong! This is better than good.


~wranx

"You shouldn't be surprised at what happens next"


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-07-27 03:29 AM


great write!
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
6 posted 2003-07-27 05:04 AM


Riley,
of course you have done it write right?
lol

I loved this:

I try to make you see, yet you fail to look up

met the challenge indeed
xxoo

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2003-07-27 07:06 AM



Very good, Riley...

My mind plays tricks at times; I thought at first "wondering" should be "wandering" and then I thought - no, it most definitely should be "wondering"!

Enjoyed the insight of you very much!

Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
8 posted 2003-07-27 07:48 PM


thank you all so much!


riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

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