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Open Poetry #27
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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2003-07-27 12:02 PM




they are forming their shadows
i await mine in the background,
we have lost our destiny;
neither life nor death claims us,

they hang like question marks
and provide little comfort
but take me in their blackness,
as i yield, flat as an inkblot,

we are silent partners
in a freelance script that has become us,

they have yet to know my name,
tho i wander in their kingdom,
as moon now hides the morning,
i begin to own my thoughts again,

they are rooted but unknowing,
i tangle with my history,
battling fear of open highways
and fortune tellers that warn of poets,

i know that i am breathing
as they catch the stars that are dividing,
upon their stirring branches,
now suspended, i am mapless,

this was not supposed to happen,
tho i thrive now in the weighlessness,
but dance upon my tombstone,
as some days i fear exposure,

when i am with them, i remember
i existed once a sapling,

i wonder if my others
even know that i have left them


[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (07-27-2003 09:31 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2003-07-27 12:04 PM


inkedgoddess - I read into your words and see what I see...

BC

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2003-07-27 01:46 AM


Michele

you have brought the entire story
to unfold here indeed . . .
I, too exist as you say
and often wonder if anyone would even notice . . .
amazing me yet again
xxoo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2003-07-27 02:42 AM


this touches deep
dreambuilder
Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319
caddyshack
4 posted 2003-07-27 08:39 AM


Goddess
You continue to amaze me

a wandering generality
dead waiting to be buried
amongst the wage slaves
a life of quiet desperation
couldnt they have warned you a little earlier sheesh

Awesome write
as always, I look forward to more
Mike


. . . all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream  . . .

[This message has been edited by dreambuilder (07-27-2003 08:43 AM).]

cusick
Senior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 668

5 posted 2003-07-27 10:48 AM


As moon hides the morning I begin to own my thoughts again. Such a lovely image.Great poem. Maggie
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2003-07-27 11:38 AM


very nice, indeed!

love the title
and the "freelance script" line, that one's especially superb, methinks

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
7 posted 2003-07-27 02:28 PM


we have lost our destiny;
neither life nor death claims us,

Mish these lines set me off never read lines that so clearly and simply and define what i am..nevermind

IntoTheFlames
Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 92
Va, USA
8 posted 2003-07-27 03:08 PM


Wow! great write!

~*:butterfly:*~Summer~*:butterfly:*~

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

9 posted 2003-07-27 03:11 PM


"they hang us like question marks"

wow..that was awesome

insanity is not a crime

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
10 posted 2003-07-27 03:28 PM


they hang like question marks
and provide little comfort
but take me in their blackness,
as i yield, flat as an inkblot,

we are silent partners
in a freelance script that has become us,


Amazing writing Michele.  
Hugs  
Ethel

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
11 posted 2003-07-27 03:32 PM


thanks for reading and understanding this jumble,
i could use help with the line breaks, it seems kind of choppy, if any one has a suggestion, tell me............i can take it,,,,,,,,

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
12 posted 2003-07-27 05:00 PM


You are a tough lady, oops goddess! Dancing upon your tombstone to the delight of those who live and know ... and love you.
Great write.
Love, Margherita

bklynboy
Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660
florida
13 posted 2003-07-27 08:32 PM


Terrific as always and I get the meaning!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
14 posted 2003-07-27 08:35 PM


You not only look like a goddess--you write like one!


EA

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
15 posted 2003-07-27 08:43 PM


What EA just said..
Plus..what an amazing talent you are..
Fantastic write!
~Hugs~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
    Has held me in the same embrace~

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
16 posted 2003-07-28 07:02 AM


thank you maguerite what a nice thing to say.

bboy.....sometimes, you don't you know, but thank you when you do.makes me feel like i am understood once in a while

thank you ea. for the nice compliment

and enchanted one, thanks for stopping in too



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